The material presented
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Well, it's been real nice the past four days not having the AH around. I've been able to pack all my belongings while he's been gone in peace and quiet! Now...today when he gets back from Tennessee, he'll see all the boxes and then I have to tell him I have already gave my boss my 2 week notice and that I have the divorce papers ready to be notorized and taken to the courthouse if he's ready to do it! There's no turning back now and changing my mind!! My last day of work is Wednesday and then I'm hoping Thursday morning I can "boogie" up the road! A three hour drive to my home state. I'm so grateful that HP has worked out everything the way it has, because I couldn't have planned it this well if I had tried! All the worrying I did this past Spring about leaving and then didn't do it because we went to see the Hurricane damage instead for a vacation. I just didn't feel right for some reason about going home, and figured I'd try again May of next year. Well...now I see why I was having those feelings. HP had a better plan for me. I'm really throwing my life into His hands right now and who knows what the future will bring? But, I'm so excited to even care, I'm not going to be dealing with an AH any longer. I hope he'll find his own peace and happiness and not wind up killing himself or someone else drinking & driving, or fall asleep in this trailer as he has numerous times now with a cigarette in his hand, and burn himself up. He literally is an accident waiting to happen, and I'm so grateful I won't be here to have to see anything if it does. It's just really sad. But...we all have lessons to learn and I've learned his Aism is not something I was able to help him with. There was no future to look forward to with him and I can't just sit around this place day after day after day waiting for the bottom to fall out. I have too much ambition in life, there's too many places to go and things to do before I die!! I just got off the phone with him...He's not coming home after all today!! WOOHOOOO!! Maybe tomorrow. Oh well...I hear my movie on t.v. (Walk The Line), so I think I'll go watch it for the umpteenth time!! <LOL> I wish ya'll a very peaceful Sunday afternnoon. Hugs, Korinne
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Today, I am grateful to be on the path of dealing with my life and continuing to grow truly stronger.
The peace and quiet doesnt have to end. No matter what his reaction, you can stay in control.
I can see why he would feel sabatoged. Did you make it clear to him that, no matter what happens in rehab, you were leaving? If not, it sounds like there's gonna be alot of hurt on both sides. Additionnally, keep in mind that a geographical cure cures geography: you always take you with you. Make sure your program is primed and ready.
Congratulations on your decision. Please be safe, if you have any concerns about what his reaction may be. I would never presume to know anyone else's situation, but I would think that having that conversation with someone who may or may not be rational at that moment, may make it a danger. In my making no decison in this moment place, I know that I am not there yet, but I applaud your decision to engage in the possibility of a different life. Best of luck, Cindy
You sound as tough you have made a very healthy choice for YOU. You have exhausted all avenues and this is what right for you. You deserve this freedom! Good luck in you new adventures. Keep the focus on YOUR recovery not his . Hope things don't come to a head when you get ready to leave.
Hugs, Korinne