My world has been twisted turned and flipped in the past month and half.  First the murder of my friend's sister, that was a total and complete shock and it was rough watching my friend go through that.  Okay, Dec. 1st, my best friend of 21 years, calls me to tell me her mom died last night.  I've known the whole family for 21 years, they are like my other family, chosen family.  She'd had a massive heart attack in the middle of a conversation with my friend while down in the horse pasture.  This is a sudden and painful shock to me.  It absolutely crushed me.  I went that night to see my friend and spend time with the family and I was sorta shocked to feel peace over there admist all the emotions you'd expect.  I was very sad but I felt somehow she was watching over all of us and telling us it was all okay.  I'll always miss her and think she is going to come walking through the door.  They always made me feel like the life and the terrible memories I had were far far away when I was around them.  I remember I spent what felt like entire summers over at their house.  I never wanted to leave, probably because I didn't want to go home and mull over my memories.  At this time my mom wasn't alcoholic but the sex abuse memories were easily forgotten over at my friends house.  We would ride the horses, take care of them, play with the dogs, etc.  I will always be thankful for all the times I had over there.  Even a few trips I had taken with them.  I went to Disney world with them, my first time.  She was 64 years old and she's actually my friend's grandma (her mom gave her up and her grandma raised her and she calls her mom).  My husband's grandma died the other day(they weren't very close but he was a pall bearer).  That's 3 funerals in the past 1 1/2 months.  That's not counting 2 that we didn't attend that occured earlier in the year.  Well, I'm glad to say that I did know my friend's mom for 21 years and that she was a very kind person.  I am lucky to have known her.  I also find comfort in knowing that right now she and Miles (my friend's baby that died) are together again.  To think of it now, I still well up but I am happy to know this.

RC

PS  The good news that comes out of this, my friend is pregnant.  She suspects that she is 4-6 weeks.  They say when a door is shut another is opened.  Hmm, I guess ya never know.  :)