The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Since I've been poking around in all of your lives and you have all graciously allowed me to reply to your posts, I thought it was time to share my story. First of all, I am not new to the concept of alanon, I have though, only attended one "physical" meeting. I may return ... who knows.
I grew up in an alcohol family. My dad is the alcoholic - he's in his late 50's, on oxygen, dissassociated from his family, dependent on day nurses and is staring death in the face every day - he's still actively using (drinks like a fish from sunrise to sunset). At this point, I pray that he will be taken out of his misery sooner than later. Well, let's see ... I grew up, was so pleased with myself for having survived that stuff. I voluntarily went through a year of counselling (Canadian Spelling) so that I wouldn't repeat patterns with my son. I learned to distance myself in a healthy way. I loved my dad then and still do today - we haven't spoken in nearly 3 years - his choice. But even more importantly, I was able to let him make his own choices and lead his life while living mine. Life was grand ... AND THEN ... I met him ...
MY VERY OWN A!!! I married him - ouch - somebody hit me really hard on the head and do it again for good measure - lol. Oh by no means am I making light of alcoholism and the distruction it causes - I do know the family breakdown I experienced first hand as a child. But a sense of humor is one way to cope. I learned that very young ...
Anywho, being with my husband has taught me even more about alcoholism - like I really wanted to know ... It's taught me about my own internal strenghth and resources. It's brought me closer to my HP (which I hate referring to as HP, becuz it minimizes WHO HE is - Jesus Christ). Let's call him JC!! All of which I am very grateful for more days than not. Oh, I do worry, I do cry, I do get angry, discouraged, disappointed and want to quit some days. But I guess I am grateful that my husband and I, are not my parents.
Thanks so much for telling us your story. It really helps to get a little background on where our friends are coming from.
I grew up in that A father family too. I married an A when I was very young. I also divorced him shortly after I married him but not before having a son. That son is the A in my life today. My father did die at age 56 and my son's father died at about 52.
I have another son with the man I married 32 years ago. He is not an A but bothe his parents were. Now...this son (now 30) is exhibiting signs of Aism. It just goes on and on doesn't it?
Keep posting here and with your HP (JC), you will do ok.
Thanks for sharing. It is amazing, like you were reading my bio. Not that I would ever wish this on anyone, but there is comfort in knowing that you are not the only one going through something. Also, as a person that hides my real life from the people around me, this is a place to feel so free to be honest without judgement. Thank you for reminding me, Cindy
Love your byline. Thanks for your share. I think we learn so much from each other. It just tells us that as we share our experience strength and hope we learn that we are not alone.
