The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AW, who is living on her own right now... is trying to detox herself. It is very confussing to talk to her right now. One minute she is raging at me over forcing her to do things this way, the next she is crying and wanting me to "entertain her" because she is being good.
She insisted this past week that we get a legle seperation, so she can "have what is hers", and because she doesn't think she likes me much any more... but she is angry that she is alone. She got frustrated when I said that won't help her "not" be alone.
I am trying really hard not to read too much into this... but yet admire the fact that she is doing it. If she will at least get sober for a little while, she can make a clear decission about weather she is willing to not drink any more.
I have told her that drinking... social or otherwise would not be an option for me. I don't intend to be her shrink, parole officer and her doctor for the rest of my life. That is a pushy decission on my part, but an important one. She feels like I am trying to control her... turn her into someone I like.
It is not like that at all. I will work hard to try and work through the diffuculties of life with her, because I love her very much. I find that I can't live with one foot in reality, and one foot in her disease. I just can't work that way.
I think she might have hit some AA meetings. She got some phone numbers from somewhere. She hasn't told me anything concreate about it and I am not pushing her. If she want's to tell, she will.
I feel a bit torn about all this. But I told her the other day when she was so mad, that if she gets healthy and happy... and ends up hating me, that I could live with that. And I can.
My wish for you all is that you are healthy and happy!
Take care of you!
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Wow, she's in trouble. Detox is a dangerous place to be if you're doing it on your own. That's why alot of AA's when they see new comers coming into the clubs watch them very, very, closely. The body is literally going through various functions so that it can "out" the poisons. To give you some idea how drastic and dramatic it is, I talked with my air filter, convinced it was my using buddy. I was screaming at it to "shut up! I gotta sleep woman!" This is also very dangerous because some people have said they say "little green men" crawling up their arms, and, tragically, slit their arms trying to stop the "little green men."
Please, if things start to get outta control, call the police. Tell them what's going on. They are professionals. They can take care of it. Detox lasts 2--4 days but is so fragile a process that some doctors will actually go through several different drugs stepping addicts off of drugs.
