The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was told I have issues by someone in Alanon because I do not want to take the train to work. There was recently a murder on the train and the stop I would use is dark and not in a very good neighborhood. To me and other females I have spoken to have said they see it as being self-protective. Am I crazy to think this way?
No! You are right to protect yourself. You do not have issues. This person that told you this is in a different place in their program. Sounds like this person was taking your inventory instead of their own. Helps me to remember it is progress not perfection......no matter how long in the program. I have to set MY principles above the personalities.
I have rarely in my life heard such bull!!! Of course you are not crazy to think that way. THEY are nuts for criticizing. Takes all kinds...*sigh*...By the way, what's wrong with "self-protective?????"
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Its your preference to be a proactive person for your safety. It sounds like the person who told you you have issues is the one with the issue for not staying out of your business and giving you the right and respect to live your life as you choose. I don't blame you for not taking chances with your safety. There are predators everywhere and unless we stand up against them and protect ourselves and stay out of dark alleys and trains we could be the next victim. Don't go roaming around strange places if you don't want trouble, why put yourself there. I'd let that one roll off my back.... you determine your worth not anyone else.
Peace,
Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
I came into al anon without much sense of self preservation. I know for me it goes full circle.
This morning I was walking around at 4:00 a.m. looking for my dogs who got out. Needless to say I did not walk far. I also kept my eyes and ears open.
I used to love being out late at night now I never am.
I think there are ways to circumvent some safety issues but you have to find them no one else can dictate them to you.
I know I try not to be alone with people. I work alone at night in a hotel and often deal with drunk people and people who are irate so I have learned to trust my gut too. I don't get too close to people. I am unfailingly polite to people that helps as well.
I am glad to have a growing sense of self preservation but I'm not going to beat myself up for not having it. I know some people have lectured me how to deal with people and I tend to keep what I like and discard the rest. I had to silence my gut for years.
If your gut tells you it is a dangerous place that's what you should go by.
I must say I had the exact same thought as Christy--we all have issues!!! But I also agree that making sure you are safe isn't one of them. I wouldn't be to excited about getting on a train and getting off at a dark exit, (especially if I knew there had been a murder recently), if there were another way to travel I would!
