The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
We found out my wife left rehab after 1 day. She was given an Alcohol Assessment and found not to be an alcoholic. Her mother called the facility when she found this out (2 weeks later), and asked them if they knew Alicia was a psychology major and that she had been given assessments in the past for a couple DUIs. The counselors were offended. Wife couldn't have talked her way through them... they are too experienced.
15 minutes after returning from overseas last night, I was served with legal separation papers. Fine, whatever. Wife and attorney want to take everything from me. My house, my savings, my retirement accounts -- we've only been married for 2 years, and I had these things prior to being married -- not to mention, I would have to pay for her atty fees, living expenses and debt on top of vacating my house so she could be comfortable... Now, I guess I need to pay another couple thousand to get myself a lawyer. This is sick. I feel ill.
The lies and manipulation are out of control. She perjured herself in the court documents, sent an email to MY family saying I screwed around on her, and told HER family that she's living on the streets and has nothing.
Lord, give me the strength to control the things I can, accept the things I can't, and of course, the wisdom to know the difference.
I feel at the end of my rope; I want to stop the torment and pain.
I love you all for loving me, say a prayer for me, I need to feel happiness.
c
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
I am so sorry to hear that. What a mess they can stir up if they want to. Do what you need to do to take care of you. It is unfortunate that you will have to fight her alligations but in order to make it right you might have to.
Come here when you need to vent and scream... that is what we are for. Keep us posted and know you have our support.
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
I'm so sorry your are hurting at the moment. It's not very nice when people go against you. Just you remember you know the truth, and thats all that matters.
"""What PeopleThink Of Me Is None Of My Business""""
I will say A prayer for you, and hope you get this sorted, with the minimum heartache to you.
(((cj))), I am so sorry you are going through all of this. The first time I saw what my ex wanted in our divorce papers, I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Please remember, just because it is asked for, it is not always given. I agree with the others focus on you and take care of you. On thing that helped me was to tryand remember hurting people hurt people. My ex made some pretty wild statements about me, which hurt to hear. In time though I found that the truth came out. Glad to have you as a member of my MIP family.
My AHsober has often said that the disease will take you down and everything else with it. I don't even recognize my husband now. And I find it incredible the things that he has said and done. Part of it is that I was in denial about who he really is and who I wanted to believe that he was.
Can you detach a little and walk thru it and see what is on the other side? Lots of ESH here.
I'm just so hurt... which is not good, mentally... sad, depressed, lonely... i've tried so hard to be a righteous guy in all that i do. I'm proud of me and my military service; all the work to get to a financially and spiritually secure place; just gone - i feel nothing and everything. i've been sitting on this computer all day, trying to fill the void with posts and advice, and i just feel
bad.
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
I am saying a couple of prayers for you my friend......wow, can I relate to wanting to feel happiness.....I guess we are on our own for that one....we must find it, and I beleive happiness is out there....just gotta let go and let god dear friend....
Take it easy....hope things get beter for you...most of all I hope you find that happiness that you so deserve.....
I'm very sorry this is the route your wife has decided to travel. My suggestion is to turn your hurt energy into protection energy. Start Googling. Put on your combat shoes and do whatever it takes to protect yourself and your assets. If you have to charge her with cruelty, abuse..whatever it takes. Gather your police incedent reports and go at it armed with whatever charges and /or defense you can come up with. Attempting to find serenity (peacefulness) in the usual form will be almost impossible. But you can find serenity in doing what needs to be done to protect yourself and not lose what you've worked for.
*take what you like and leave the rest*
Take care Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I am sorry for what you are going through. I know that sick feeling. The one with the stomach.
I am certain once you obtain an attorney, there will be much of this she won't be able to get away with. I am certain of it. Easy does it on you. Take things one day at time. What can get taken care of today?
If NOT ONE person figures out she has a drinking problem. That is fine. All that matters is, you know what you know and you are getting help for you. Her drinking was a problem for you. You are absolutely powerless over what anyone does, but you are not over you. This is a safe place for you to come. I hope that you will keep coming back for love and support you so truly deserve.
Just want you to know, you are not alone. There were days I really thought I was dieing, like my life had exploded and there were just too many pieces to even try to start to pick up. If I could I would fast forward you thru this.....it sucks, it's real and it hurts. Okay, now the good stuff, you will live and the person you become thru all of this is one that is a mix of who you use to be and who you've always wanted to be. Keep being that good guy, you don't have to get run over in the process, and by taking that high road you will know (whether anyone else knows) you did the right thing.
I'm sure you've heard this but for me it really came in handy with things that were unfair that would flare my temper. Say what you mean, mean what you say, just don't say it mean. If you can pull that off you won't have to Justify what you are saying, Argue about it, Defend your decisions or Explain them (J.A.D.E.)
I'm just not sure of where the high road lies. I don't know if God wants me to stay by her, even if that means total separation, or whatever. I can lay the boundries down, but that doesn't give me the sense of HIS (or HER) plan.
The toughest question I am asking myself:
Am I living by my spirituality? Am I making decisions out of selfishness or because it is the right thing to do??
F2F tonight... Thank you, God. I need wisdom and serenity.
Thank you all for your thoughts
Love
cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
What a huge blessing that you will have only spent two years with this person. She can ask for the world, a good attny can & will only give her what she deserves in that length of time with her.
Don't beat yourself up another second. This is your window OUT.
Leave the Insanity behind.
You CAN look yourself in the mirror and be PROUD of your accomplishments in life. Living an honorable life, your military/ service record that you've shared. Those things that YOU have accomplished are huge and only the beginning. This too shall pass.
Instead of letting the crap get you down, know that it can only get better from here. What a huge blessing to finally be free of the lies and games. I can't imagine the path you are walking at the moment, remember there is light at the end of this tunnel.
From me to you, thank you for who you are, what you are...we should have more people in the world like you. I consider myself proud to know you.
Count your blessings, get to meetings, keep posting, don't get too tired or too lonely and know you can walk with your head held high.
They can only beat us down if we allow it.
No one promised life would be a rose garden. I'm so proud that you are taking care of yourself through this tough time.
