The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have not been on this site for a long time. It is so good to be back. I have a son that will be 32 in June and I think he has a problem with booze. I don't think-I know! the other morning he called me by mistake at 4.30am. I was so scared to pick up the phone-maybe a terrible accident--he was soooo sorry he called me of course -- he sure never meant to. I think he does not remember calling me---is it wrong when he is sober for me to bring it up? Hubby says don't say anything-its not a big deal! Sorry - it is a big deal---I would love some help and any comments will really help. I am living in terror- for the next nitemare-cause there always is one---Bonnie
Well if you think he has a problem he probalby has. I know well what it is to live the nightmare. I've been there and done that for years. Lucky for me this year the A does not seem to be drinking himself into oblivion at night. I think getting numerous speeding tickets and more has stopped that. Nevertheless I know it is just a matter of time.
When I first came on this site one of the first things I learned was to turn it over to my HP. Obviously I cannot be out looking for him when he is on some bender so most of the time (not all of it) I can turn it over to the HP. I know when I first did that it helped immensely.
I am sure his call to you was a reaching out for help. The issue is not to be giving the wrong kind of help. I think I had to get really centered before I could respond rather than react. I don't even think I am there yet most days.
The issue is that your son probably knows he has a problem. He knows he needs help and if he wants help he can reach out for it. I am glad that you are here and lookign for help for yourself. I know I would be totally insane in a rage in a state of tremendous fear and apprehension without help.
I agree with Maresie, if you think it is a problem then it probably is....I don't know that saying anything at this point is going to do any good....maybe just get yourself all upset...until he wants to be sober not one damn thing you can do....that is the biggest thing I have learned in this program..... and what a learning experience it has been.. once we learn we can do nothing.....and start working on getting ourselves out of the hellish world of addiction...we begin to breathe again......
I agree with the others. He likely does have a problem if you think he does. I would not mention the incident. It may cause embarrassment and perhaps anger. I know how worried and concerned you must be, but I'd let it go this time. Not advice...only my suggestion.
Best wishes, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
