The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ugh ... a long story short, I listened to 7 hours of hysterical crying, wailing, yelling while my A was drunk. the phone rang and kaboom he went from happily singing at the top of his lungs to sobbing like I have never seen before .... seems his best friend also one of mine from childhood was in the hospital dying of liver and kidney failure. My A wanted a phone number of an old friend .... here's my hole I got it for him. I called to leave a message asking the old friend to call me so I could let him know about our friend in the hospital. When he called back he got my A instead ... Ugh more hysterical sobbing while on the phone. More phone calls to other people, I wasn't involved in those. This started at 7pm .... at 3am when he was talking of us being followed but they were watching me not him, and our driveway being filled with cars during the day wile i am gone I started to wonder.
Fast forward next day my A calls to say he is going to the hospital with his Dad to see the friend. He is passed out cold when I get home, I go out to dinner with my brother and his fiance. When I get home ask about friend ... brushed off "worst hangover of my life".
Fast forward yeasterday I ask about friend ... recieve a blank stare, with a slightly panicked look. Message on the machine from another of his friends saying "sorry to hear about your grandma". What?
Today .... trying to decide if I am brave enought o know the truth, do i call my friend, his parents? Say what .... My A said you were dying are you? Can I face the fact he is that far gone, the delusional world is that bad? Can I just decide he is without finding the truth? Better yet can I just decide I don't care anymore.
And I thank my HP and program that even though I fell into it for a 1/2 hour, i bounced back quick. No more phone calls and no hysterics on my part. No trying to make him feel better, Just a calm acceptance of what will be will be. And today a slight joy that others now know how ridiculous his lies can be. I almost wish I had handed him the address book ..... I'll try to work on that need to show his family their denial. LOL
Your question and mine!!! "Can I just decide he is without finding the truth? Better yet can I just decide I don't care anymore."
Why do I need proof? Why can't I just trust my own feelings and roll with it? I have a feeling this is related to my need to always be right? I am scared to act on my feelings rather than solid evidence...
