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Well, I got back to the house, I really honestly don't have any friends here that I can call on to help me out. I went in first and had the kids wait in the car. I found out that he had stolen cash and a leather jacket from me. It could have been worse. He did leave some cash. I called my sponsor and then called the police. The local cops (not the one I talked to the other night online) said that it is breaking and entering and larceny. I decided not to press charges. The officer wasn't sure if it would hold up in court but advised me to contact the local DV shelter to get help with filing a restraining order. I am hoping they can help me with divorce paperwork as well. The officer also said that he would put my house on the hot sheet for extra scrutiny and to call 911 if he came back.
Before all this, I got a call on my cell from the A earlier today saying thanks for calling the cops yesterday (which I hadn't at the time) and that he is glad that I have found someone to make me happy (I wish) even though he's a little far away and that I'll never see him again (child support threat). Anyway, I hung up after the last comment.
Thanks for all of your support but I really am all alone here with no help or support. I appreciate all your thoughts and caring though. :)
You are definitely not alone. I've been thinking about you for several days and was very anxious to hear what happened when you got home. I'm glad he wasn't in the house when you returned, and that he didn't completely clean you out!
Get right on that restraining order paperwork. I've really appreciated having that protection in place during my divorce. I could come and go from my house and not worry that my A would just show up. And... if he did show up while I was there, I could call the police. Do you have an attorney? I know it's expensive, but I've felt that mine has been money well spent. He's serving my A with papers again today for violating a court order. He wasn't supposed to touch or change any of our assets and he cashed in his retirement account and of course, kept it all for himself.
Make sure you document everything that has happened or happens (voicemail messages, threats, etc.) from now on for future reference... just in case.
Keep up the good work... keep taking care of YOU and your kiddos!
Artygirl.
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Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.
You are never alone when you have the ability to reach out. Each of us here is available to you and there are plenty of agencies that are willing to help you out in your situation. You also mentioned you have a sponsor - that is one of your greatest allies right now. Keep doing what your doing - moving forward and taking care of you and your kids.
Karen
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Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Love you all!
Karen
Sweetheart you may want to "ENLIGHTEN" the ignorant police officers superior with the erroneous info he gave you. I mean it.
I don't know what would make you not press charges. But that is totally up to you. I sure understand. Now I don't hesitate. We all need to answer for our behavior. Maybe it would not hold up in court, but he may be arrested.
If I were you I would be getting some bar type windows. Or make some. Look into alarm systems, or a couple loud barking dogs. He is stealing from your children. Scaring them too. My hair is standing on end here.. I am so protective of moms and kids. Women who are abused and abandoned too. rrrr and men for that matter.
Protect yourself. Your kids may be afraid he will come at night at their windows. They may not tell you, as they don't want to upset you.
Noise is a great deterrant. I hung bells all over my husbands work van every night. Never got broken into again. But people with alarns on the next street did.
For them to feel better, you might get some strands of bells and hang them on their windows. You can get them at hippie like stores very inexpensive. But I am sure they would not say no to a rottie pup. smile. They are super with kids and family, but will change in a new york minute if they are protecting you.
Or just get a huge great dane. they look scarey sound scarey but are so sweet. Do not get a Basset hound. If someone breaks in, they will just be asleep on the couch....if the thief goes into the kitchen,they will hop down to see if he is going to give them a snackie...
haha What a turkey eh??? hugs hon, debilyn who would bring in Luster, her pot bellied pig who hates everyone but her.....
Well I think A's cause chaos when they are in active addiction. I think they are also so totally self absorbed they can think of nothing but themselves. For me as a codependent I put others first so to discover someone who is so totally the opposite is hard going. Nevertheless I have had to learn to take nothing the A does personally.
I've had to learn the tread through the minefield of the As craziness very carefully. Yes at times some of those mines blow up. At other times I move past them. Obviously you are not out of the woods yet with leaving the A. There will be a time when this is done with. The house will be sold, the truck (and I can definitely empathise with the truck issue very very much) will be settled. Take it one day at a time, keep posting. Take care of yourself.
