The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I don't know how I would have managed yesterday without all of you.
We ended the day yesterday with my A son saying he doesn't know if he wants to stop, me stupidly going through all the good reasons to stop and then him screaming that I was driving him to the bar.
I thought a lot and sent a text message appologizing and saying I won't talk about his A problems again. I will just love him and wish him good things. I think that's all I can do. It's a hard lesson to learn.
I am so sorry you had such a hard day yesterday. I am glad everyone here was here for you; that's what it's all about.
Just know you aren't alone. I've gone through this over and over with my kids, and the pain never lessens, but so much nicer to have the support we find here. The reminders continue that control is an illusion, and our HP (God) is our answer.
Stay strong! I pray you will find peace over this decision. I am struggling today to keep clear of my son and whatever is happening with him this weekend. Something is, I am sure. My maternal radar tells me so. Thinking of you.
I am so glad you are here. I think the text message is a great thing. You can say what you want to say without getting the rebuttals of the disease.
I don't know how many times I have said with conviction "I love you, honey" to my AW only to get.... "NO YOU DON'T OR YOU WOULD DO _______"
I didn't need to hear that... I simply wanted to remind her that no matter what happens ... I love her.
You want to know something, reading and posting to you really helped me. My AW is in near the same shape. Whenever I am around she says she misses me and crys, says she is depressed and tired of doing this, then sits an wallows in it some more .... I don't know what to tell her anymore. If I mention treatment or help of any kind she goes crazy.
The fact is, there is nothing I can do to really help. She and her HP have to do that for her.
Hang in there, and post as often as you want. It helps us all to support each other.
Take care of you!
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Laura...I am so happy that you made it through yesterday. I was thinking about you all evening. Ask HP to wrap his arms around your son and picture him doing it. I do this alot when I am so worried and there is nothing else I can do.
Thankfully, for me today, my son is at my house, sober, visiting with his daughters. He will stay until tomorrow.
Truthfully, I don't know whether he is working or not and I chose to stay out of his business this weekend. I have even felt he was trying to engage me in some of his stuff and I just really did not even coment. That does feel freeing. I am just enjoying watching him interact with his daughters. Don't know how much longer I will have that joy but today I do.
Rest assured you're not the first to fall into the spinning cyclone that is alcholic insanity. In one of our books it compares alcholism to a tornado, just plowing through, destroying everything.
And watch the word never. I've never found never to be a good work--I always bomb out on never. No pun intended. Even if you do nag him about getting sober some day, so what? You "slipped." We all do. Part of being human means making mistakes. It means living in today. and being okay with mistake making.
