The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yesterday I came into the room to find some very upset people , aparently they had someone in the room slamming our program and were defending Al-Anon to no avial.
Along time ago I found myself in a similar situation with a friend and it got pretty heated, when I shared this at meeting level a wise oldtimmer said to me . Louise don't waste your time defending this program or justifying why u come here. JUST LIVE IT !!!!!!
That has worked for me for along time every one is entitled to thier opinion and if they dont want help I just reasure them that when they gt sick enough we will still be here. Can I resist telling them the advantages of comming to our program ??? most days NO as u all know. hehe
But I have learned to back off share what has worked for me and remember that they have a choice to either recover or not. I don't think we have to listen to anyone slamming our program in chat maybe a simple , maybe this isnt the room u should be in . might work ??
Good point. I think we forget several of the Alanon tools when we try to defend the program and argue with someone. We should use these tools in ALL OUR AFFAIRS.
JADE-Do not Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain. You DO NOT have to attend the fight. And my favorite, walk away and "Blind em with butt." In chat, just stop talking to that person. Let them carry on and see what happens if there is no response.
We all know it's a "cult" anyway...lol
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Thanks so much for sharing that. I wasn't in chat, but I have had similar situations where people would hear (from my AW) that I was going to "those" meetings to help me tell her "No" all the time. <sigh>
One that worked supprisingly well was... " When I went for the first time I really didn't care if they were sacrificing live chickens in there... I was desperate for help. And I found what I was looking for."
You guys are great!
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Great reminder of how it should work. I have to rein myself in hard most of the time when someone starts running down al-anon. I love the, you are entitled to your opinions and your way of life and we will be here if ya ever wanna come back, approach.
We all have our choices. Sometimes skeptics are a hard sell, and sometimes they become the most devoted in the end.
Choosing takes time, at least in my experience. I was originally very dubious, but something kept taking me back and back and back, and finally I decided to jump in and try to swim.
I agree that we don't have to defend the program, just work it.
I remember when I just announced to family that I was divorcing my husband. I was talking to sister-in-law and telling her how I came to the decision I did. She didn't wanna believe me, she didn't understand. I tried to explain to her that I was following my program and what it represented to me. She told me that Al-Anon was a support group for families of alcoholics and nothing more. She said that if I applied spiritual principles to it that it was wrong. She is a very religious person, and very adamant about her religion. I respect her right to feel that way, and to believe how she believes. I remember just standing there talking to her on the phone, and feeling my HP inside of me telling me that what was right for me was right for me. I felt warm inside, and new that what I was doing was right. What works for me works for me. It may not work for anyone else, but it works for me.
I am grateful my HP has taught me that, and I am grateful everyday for all of you
SenoraBob
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Higher Power doesn't always wrap presents in pretty paper.
So very grateful that the counselor at the rehab decided to just let the subject go - she was working a wonderful program. I'm sure she still does.
When she suggested I give Al-Anon a try, I told her "I am never going to a meeting that would make me believe his lies again" (boy, I can laugh about that now)
After that she never mentioned the program again to me. She let my HP lead me to the program in my own way, in my own time. Three plus years later because of her example when someone downs this program - I try to give them that same understanding that it just might not be there "time" yet and change the subject or end the conversation or just walk away.
So grateful to not have to convince anyone that Al-Anon is the way for them - Just let recovery speak for itself. For me, it's that powerful!!
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
What's the point of just working the steps or the program if you are not really going to try and live them? This program has saved me so many times, that I'd be scared to think of where I would be if I didn't work it. Thanks for the reminder.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
That is a GREAT reminder post..... I find myself often times "taking personal issue" with detractors from Al-Anon, etc.... It is soooo easy to get caught up in the defending of, or justifying the legitimacy of the program....
I agree with you 100% though Louise..... "living it" is a far better testament than "saying it". Al-Anon doesn't need my defending....
Thanks
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I agree..........I agree..............For us who continue to come ,,,come not for anyone else but ourselves. To live the program and not "preach about it" is actually working the program. It is our choice to continue to go, and it is our choice if we do not want to go. I for one know for myself, I need to attend meetings as it keeps me balanced in my way of thinking about any ups and downs that occur in my life.
