The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I woke up today and the A was in his self pity funk. He did not want to do anything but sit around and feel sorry for himself. He did his usual scream a thon. Rather than becoming lost in it I called a friend, a friend who accepts me as I am and who has become very very dear to me in recent weeks, he confronted me on that I was letting him control me again.
So for once I did not let the A's behavior eat me up. I went about my day anyways. Yes it would have been nice to have the A clean up. He chose not to. I chose to do it anyways. I did not want to live in a dirty house.
So I cleaned up and took care of myself. I went to a great al-anon meeting. I felt better. For once the A's behavior did not rule. He has sulked for years, he has sat and played his computer games for years. I have taken it all personally. I have raged, fumed and despaired. Today I just let go. He can stay in bed, sulk, fume or whatever. He can blame me, blame everyone, rage on but I do not have to take it on.