((((Elizabeth))))

I'm reminded of the story of going the hardware store to buy a loaf of bread, you just aren't going to get it there.  It's the same w/ an active A, we go to them for support, affection etc. but they don't have it to give at the moment.  This is not a hopeless situation.  In alanon we learn that we can get our needs met in other ways.  We tend to alway "wish" that we could receive those things from our A's -- sometimes we do, but only for a while then it's back to going to the "hardware store."  It's such a confusing crazy thing.  It is why we need to keep the focus on us and what our needs are.   

Also, using the slogan "let it begin w/ me" is really wonderful and can change your own attitude.  If you are pleasent, those around you feel it, but best of all it becomes a habit and instead of down or low, you feel good.  It isn't from what anyone else does, it comes from inside you. 

Remember you can "have serenity whether the Alcoholic is still drinking or not."  He's not changing -- the wonderful thing is that you are.  Keep moving forward one day at a time.