The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My 777 posts show alot of pain but also alot of growth. Thanks for your support. I had a great weekend and a great birthday. I love the fall and Halloween. I am learning so much each and every day.
It is stressful this fall. Since my AHsober moved out, I have alot of chores to do by myself. I worked on the wood for a couple of hours. I have figured out the chainsaw and with my HP's help I was able to saw the majority of the wood and not my leg. I even managed to split a few logs with the axe. When you do something physical and almost impossible, it sure is hard to feel sorry for yourself. My AH called to wish me a happy birthday. The next day he called to say he was going to the bank to take out a loan for a trailer and land using his retirement money. We ended up yelling at each other and then eventually calmed down. I told him that if I file divorce papers now (I have the papers) that our assets would be frozen and he couldn't make these decisions alone. I told him that we already have a trailer that is available when the renter moves out and that we have land that we can subdivide and sell. Not that I want to help this man get nice and comfy. Well, yesterday he called said that he backed out of the deal. I don't know what this means; I ask my HP for guidance.
Our son in the military e-mailed and said that his flight had been cancelled. More stress. I think that some of my AH's and my anxiety is related to our son's situation. Then my second son called out of the blue. He said that he hates his family. He said he doesn't want to deal with us. He said that it makes him uncomfortable to be around me and his father. I told him to keep talking about it and that it stems from our histories of alcoholism and that our conflict is not his responsiblity. He needs to take care of himself and do a good job in college. Hard to hear.
So I know I am stressed out. I know I need to continue to take care of myself. I realize that I go on the "ride" with my AHsober and it nearly kills me. Keep working on boundaries. In one of Phil's posts he says to tell them to get out and don't come back until they're sober. I think that this tough love applies to my situation. To find the truth and find the strength.
Thanks so much for being there and all the support and love.
(((()) Nancy sorry I missed your birthday. Remember you have the power to control the situations for what you want now. Hand everybody else's stress back to them and take time out for you. Luv Leo xxx
