Sober activities - Al-Anon Family Group

Violeta · Member

Sober activities

rtexas · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Violeta))))

Your weather is nice (maybe a little rainy), so how about things outside.

Picknics anywhere... parks, beach.

Have you guys ever been fishing? How about malls, you can hike around in the mall when it's nasty out and people watch. Great exercise.

Out to soccer games or any other sports.

Any place you can rent a bicycle for 2. They can be a riot. (Just don't get squashed)

Just some random thoughts. Good luck and have fun!

Take care of you!

kabbie · Veteran Member

Do you have comedy clubs? Those are a fun way to get out for some night life and not as focused on drinking, even if drinks are served.

Pull together a group of non drinking friends for weekly game nights or monthly dinner parties? Local theatre/plays? High school football/basketball games?

My husband and I like to home improve, so we can have some really fun eves just painting a room a new color (dorky, I know - but nice way to accomplish something together..)

Volunteer together!

Just some ideas, hope it helps spark a few of your own? Good luck, and congrats on the sobriety! Kabbie

Tiger2006 · ~*Service Worker*~

The first thing I thought of as soon as you said Costa Rica was diving. OMG, diving. How badly I've wanted to just go and make a day of it with my al anon/aa friends. Pack everyone up, do a BBQ, and just go.

What I hear you saying, deeply, is that you're afraid of doing the "normal" things in a culture that is "normally" alcholic. What if, just for today, you let yourself enjoy whatever--no matter what? If it rains, enjoy the rain; if it is baking hot, enjoy the sun. For a long time, your life revolved around the fact that your alcholic was the center of your life. What if, just for today, you searched for activities for yourself to enjoy, no matter what?

Violeta · Member

Thanks for your suggestions. And yes, you are sooooo right Tiger2006. I'm just in fear all the time. I'm afraid that I might say something or do something wrong. Like, I would love to eat somewhere, but I'm afraid my A is gonna crave a drink.

I'm still trying to understand, and get ii in my head that is not my responsability or my fault if he drinks, but its hard.

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

your going to have to relax a little and if your staying home to avoid booze your really going to get bored . If your boy friend has made a commitment to sobreity he will be just fine . After awhile u will find boring is not so bad hehe it sure beats hell out of drinking . Sobriety is tough no one quite knows what to do with them selves especially the A . enjoy sober beats drunk any day . Louise

lin0606 · ~*Service Worker*~

I found that going to somwhere that served drinks was not a problem, - a restaurant, a concert in a licensed place, etc. What was hard for him, though, were activities that REVOLVED around drinking - sitting in the bar chatting all evening, karaoke, that sort of thing.
The world is full of alcohol, and you can't change that. Your A will have to find a way to be around people who are having a drink without it making him crazy. It wil be easier on both of you though, if you stay away from places and people where drinking is the main focus of the activity, rather than just a small part of it. If you want to go out and get drunk some evening, make it a girls night out with your friends, and don't invite him. You may find that you need to find a new social circle- all of my husband's friends were drinking friends, and they disappeared as soon as he sobered up. However, old friends who had faded from our lives as his drinking got worse and they didn't want to be part of it, have been reappearing now.

Christy · ~*Service Worker*~

Any of these things near? If not, take a drive. Looks like there is loads of things t do. Have a weekend adventure!!http://www.1costaricalink.com/eng/web/activit-eng.htm

Karilynn · ~*Service Worker*~

((((((Violetta)))))

Welcome to the MIP family. Hubby and I do lots of things together, some that have to do with our recoveries, others not. We each read our daily meditations and talk about them. I attend AA meetings. He does not attend the Alanon meetings here, because, unfortunately he has been told the AAs are not allowed. Oh well, their loss. We go for drives, cook, sometimes catch a movie. We are pretty much homebodies because I work retail and he is constantly on the go. So down time for us is usually spent at home because it's where we love to be.

We are also by nature independent people. He has his recovery. I have mine. He loves to hunt, and I prefer not to. But we do go fishing together. I guess my question is if you could would you do somethings apart? Maybe take a class or go out with friends? Or is there a part of you that is afraid to leave him? I was at first. But at some point I had to trust him that he would make the choices that were in the best interest of him.

Live strong,

Karilynn & Pipers Kitty

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