(((((Hersh)))))

Thank you for asking.... I have had a window up with a blank post in it all morning.  Hadn't really felt any strong guidance as to what to put in there.

I did have a good Friday and Saturday... Sunday was sad.  My 2 son's went hunting in East Texas, and I am so greatful they have that outlet together. 

The week had slowly gotten more calm and distant.  I got some rest, and got some things done around the house.  Friday I asked my AW if she wanted to go to diner and talk.  We had a nice time, and talked a bit.  Saturday I spent the day cleaning.  My wife asked if I wanted to go to an event with her.  She knows it's something I really enjoy doing with her.  So I went and we shared a lot of affection and had a good time.  It was nice, and a relief to be able to express my love for her without her blurting out "... no you dont!"

Sunday came the panic that she was going to be alone again.  The "... you took my family and my home away from me..." and on and on.  I tried to assure her that I loved her, and she knows what to take care of to get everything back where she wants it.  That I know it's hard, but I have confidence that if she wants to fix it she can.  But she wasn't hearing it.  I eventually just went into shutdown and quit talking.

She knows that guilt is an easy hit on me.  She is the master of stabbing me with it.  I am getting a little better at seeing manipulation and not taking it personally... but I am far from over that.  It hurts.

But today is a new day... new week ... and another chance to do it better.

Thank you so much for your concearn and prayers... they are felt and appreciated every day!