The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Talked to the A just now and he was happy and calm and I caught myself getting a little upset. I was so stressed out last night in large part because of his words and now today it's like nothing ever happened. He is better and I am still holding a grudge. ERRRRRRR!!!!
I would like to turn off the feel-o-meter and quit feeling EVERYTHING seemingly so much more than everyone else. Another example of how important letting things go really is. I feel so relieved now that everything worked out ok. I kept my boundary and he got over it. I think my problem is that it always seems like the end of the world to me but to others it's insignificant (arguments, etc.) Just glad I recognize this. I think this is why I accept things I don't want to so often because I am afraid of the reaction maybe I will learn now that this too will pass. I know it, I just want to know it in advance so it's not so scary when I do it all the what ifs and so on.
I think one of the hardest things I am learning to do is trust my memory. One of the reasons that alcholics don't remember the chain of events that we do, or at all, is truly, their memory may have been so altered by their drinking, they have no recollection. They may have been in black out.
That was hard for me to learn. I wanted to be direct--confront--have a reconing. The idea that someone was persona non grata mentally but not physically was terribly upsetting. But it does give me prospective.
