((((Everyone))))

I survived the camp out ...and so did my program.  I sit here and shake my head in unbelief, it was wonderful, insane, joyful, sickening and pleasant -- talk about a rollercoaster.  Ah well, I learned a lot and have been wondering what my HP was trying to show me. 

There were 2,100 campers at this event, it's one of the biggest for the year here.  The boys were great, my son had a wonderful time.  My daughter came too since it was a family event.  Do you recall the "Lost Boys" of Peter Pan?  These kids had the biggest gully in the woods, which they built a bridge over, they had rope swings and the works.  Talk about dirty kids LOL....all I could do was smile.  I am so grateful that the kids were so busy they didn't notice the other things going on. 

There were at least two A's other than mine in our group, and there were plenty of others who tagged along w/ the "party" after the kids went to sleep.  The first evening wasn't tooo bad, got to see a couple of new Funky dances that made me laugh.  But by the next day I'd really gotten tired of it.  This is an event for the kids. 

The next day the A's all got together and started taking over, planning this grand dinner and POOF out from no where pops the grandaddy of all A's -- no joke he was the grandpa of one of the boys-- and I looked at my A and said, I'm not going to deal w/ a drunk tonight. (like I have that kind of control LOL)  I took a deep breath and went to hunt up my "lost boy" to go fishing.  He was so excited , I told him to get his gear and if he wanted to invite his dad to let him know we were going.  He did and my A actually went -- he stepped away from the party.  This is a first for him, all other years it has just been my son and I while my A stuck around camp and drank w/ the others.  So as we get ready all the party crowd asks to send their kids w/ us....augh, I refused to take the littlest ones, we ended up w/ six which wasn't bad at all.  We had a great couple of hours and then headed back to start dinner.

I walk into the camp and it was chaos.  I took a deep breath and decided I could do my own thing -- in peace.   My A kept saying "But they are....."  It didn't matter to me what "they" were doing, I was cooking and feeding my kids and "they" were like 10 chefs fighting over one pot and two peas they didn't know how to split.  Until ...... one of the boys cut themselves, Grandaddy A's child.  I can't even go into what all went on after that, other than it just really really got to me.  I turned all my camp stuff off  and walked away, Sat in the car for a while fiddling w/ papers when my "lost boy" came up and say "Whatcha doing Mummy?  Is it Relaxing time."  Can I say I love this kid .  I said yep and he hops in and proceeds to tell me all kinds of things he's been doing, finding, building, etc.  Then he says "Ya wanta see?"  SURE!  So spent the better part of an hour in the woods ( Rita, I kept thinking about your reply and hoping I wasn't the one who would get poison Ivy LOL) 

When I got back to cooking dinner, I hear someone talking about the steps!  Then I hear Grandaddy A blow them apart.  All I could do was smile at this fellow, he tried.  Later on someone thru a 1/2 gal Crown Royal bottle on the fire with the top still on.  Talk about run for cover, until someone reached in the fire and pulled it out.  Grandaddy A had a hundred stories to tell ... Really loudly.... told me not to worry about the mammoth fires ( he had two) and I just told him to call me Fireman Jane -- This only brought his attention my way.  I did so well, I just told him I'd wished I'd brought my duct tape and I had nothing else to say.  As the evening rolled around One A told me I'd have to excuse them, they are loud because of all of the machinery they've worked around , I was told by another that myself and the fellow who had brought up AA were the only sober ones there.  Atleast I wasn't alone.  (can I scream here this was a BOY SCOUTING EVENT)  There were other campers who came up to complain, our leader came over to put an end to it, said the fire in the burn barrel had to die down because it needed to be loaded into the car the next morning.  Grandaddy A decides to take this barrel and empty it w/ his hand.  Then turn it up side down three times trying to empty out the coals.  You'd not believe the noise.  AUGH 

This is where I had to run to the lovey port-a-pot .... and dropped my cell phone in AUGH -- I really had to Let Go there.   Lets just say after that I could have cried, but didn't.  Here is where my A actually earned point LOL, he asked the real LOUD Grandaddy A if he'd fish it out for me --- LOL. 

Later that night though, I lost my anger about everything.  I heard this man talking to himself.  I wont repeat what he said, it was sad and it opened my eyes to a pain that must be unbearable.

Oh well, So here is my gratitude list for this trip.  I am grateful that my A is they way he is, because it could be worse.  I am grateful that my children got to cut loose, have a blast and seemed to miss all the Aisms.  I am grateful that my A opted for the first time to participate w/ his kids.  I am grateful that my A actually helped unpack everything and take care of all the camping gear, again a first for him.  Though I can't say I'm grateful for the demise of my cell phone, I've enjoyed being able to be "out of reach." LOL  And what I'm truly grateful for is this program, because no matter how great my A was on this trip, Alanon has taught me to live in what is real, and what's real is that he is an A and I'll accept w/ gratitude this good weekend and his effort.  I've just learned that there is no use in trying to "think it" to be anything more or less that what it was.