The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In talking with my grouchy old ASober Father this weekend, he told my AW and I some stories I had never heard. I love my Dad, he is a great guy.
He quit drinking on his own for 6 months when he was in his early 30's. He was at his brothers house and was offered a beer. He took it and my Grandmother asked if he was sure he wanted that. Dad told her, it's only one.
He said that hit him like a hammer. That it is like a lightswitch. As soon as he drank it, he knew he was in big trouble. He KNEW he was going to buy more on the way home. He did, and it took the court to order his sobriety to get help. DWI and a BAL of 3.8 to find his bottom.
Sober for 20 years he took communion at his mothers funeral. They served a sip of wine. He took it as it was part of the ceremony and he might have thought it was grape juice (that is what our church serves). That shook him up terribly. He told my Mom that he can NEVER do that again.
He is not the only person I have heard this from. It is simply not the same experience as anyone who is not effected by this disease.
Just thought I would share it with everyone.
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Thanks for sharing your dad's story. I know that the stories I have heard in the rooms of AA have changed my life, and given me strength. For people who do not have this disease, it is really tough to understand how hard it is to abstain. I believe that one needs a program, which includes like our Alanon, a spiritual solution and many other people who we can fellowship with.
I had a crisis situation that scared me into getting help for myself. Driving in a blackout and coming to with someone in my car I did not know and don't remember picking up. I had tried to quit many times on my own, just made it a month or so, then picked up again. It is an obsession.
I love that you are talking with your Dad and your AW together. The hope that one alcoholic brings to another is priceless, and perhaps he may plant some seeds into her head that will begin to sprout and give her some possibilities in life. If she is desperate enough and willing to get help, I pray that if she attends meetings, the words get through to her. It may take a while, I know it did me. You hear the same thing and it just sounds like a word, then it clicks!!! Things begin to work, you begin to feel better.
I am praying for you, your AW and your sons, RT. There is hope, there is definitely hope there... you just keep on staying strong, putting one foot in front of the other....
Sober for 20 years he took communion at his mothers funeral. They served a sip of wine. He took it as it was part of the ceremony and he might have thought it was grape juice (that is what our church serves). That shook him up terribly. He told my Mom that he can NEVER do that again.
I once absent-mindedly took a piece of wrapped candy out of a bowl at a public gathering and bit into it. It had some kind of liquor inside... just a drop but it was a no-doubter. Like biting into a live wire. I remember thinking oh my God, I relapsed... but I just went over and got a cup of coffee to get the taste out of my mouth. I'm reminded of a line from the AA Big Book "... we recoil as if from a hot flame, for by then, sanity will have returned".
Imagine that, a real life example of my own sanity!
I don't eat desserts made with liquor, I don't use mouthwash, I don't take any cough syrup that contains alcohol (or narcotics), and I don't do communion wine. Actually the only time I've had communion since I was sober was on an AA retreat... non-alcholic wine. I did once have a friend serve me non-alcoholic wine of some sort. I never was much of a wine drinker even when I did drink... but this stuff tasted too much like the real thing. I probably wouldn't do it again. I don't drink non-alcoholic beer either. It would only remind me of the real thing.
Maybe there are people who can get away with this, I'm not one of them. I don't even want to find out... if I have curiosity, well... that curiosity is part of the disease.
