The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went to a wonderful "Mixed Nuts" meeting lastnight with AAs and Alanons. I had a pretty deep conversation afterward with some great guys who are willing to 12 step my AH when the time arises. He is talking about the devil being in him, crying all the time, being possessed by the alcohol. But this is only when he is drunk. The next day he acts like he is fine, goes a few days without drinking, then another binge. Anyway they really gave me hope that if he ever says I finally give, (to me) I have some numbers to call and guys that can come over.
I got home late and AH was at the neighbors house slam dancing in the garage. I went to bed. He owes me money and yesterday was his payday. I didn't feel like asking him when he was so drunk lastnight. I won't see him tonite because I am going out again. I asked him nicely this morning for the money he owes me (he is making installments - it is over $1,500). He got really upset and said "let me think about it for a minute." I tried to be calm and say, "just please give it to me, I need to leave for work." He got all pissy and was so awful, gave me $100, all grumpy because HE had to get up from his hangover and give me money that he owes me. I said, "oh, so you're mad at me because you owe me money?" He tried to grab me and hug me and I just said, "I cannot live with the drunk Greg, anymore. Everything is just such a joke to you and you're just ha ha ha, living the high life having so much fun, and it is not fun anymore for me." I didn't belabor it, just left. The A acts like such a teenager, you know? They have this mentality of a young, partier, with no responsibilities or cares.
Tonite I am getting a massage (YIPPEEE!) and going out to a nice dinner with my cousin. All weekend is booked up with plans and shopping. I am still praying for AH to be alone with his disease and really get to his bottom, but always accepting of the fact that it may never happen for him.
Thank you to this program for helping me to have the courage to stand up for myself and take care of myself, though slowgoing.
I hope you all are going to have a wonderful weekend....
