The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Lately I have been feeling a tremendous sense of isolation. I work from home and live alone. I do get to meetings but not every day. Today my feelings were especially intense. I have considered getting an office job, but then I would have to give up the business I have worked so hard to build. I enjoy my work, but the sense of aloneness is really hard and reminds me of early childhood when I felt totally abandoned. Any support would be most welcome. Thanks for reading.
I work at night so I have issues with isolation too. I also have somehow boxed myself into a corner socially. I don't have a social life to speak of. I don't necessarily think working outside helps that much. I don't tend to socialize with people I work with. I did that and it didn't necessarily turn out that well.
I do work on ways to reach out to others the best I can. So I would suggest start small and build up. I do understand how insidious that stuff can be.
Thanks, Maresie. I guess I just need to focus on scheduling more social time. I think I'm feeling especially lonely because a close friendship recently ended. It was a woman I met in another fellowhip who kept insisting that I work the program her way. The friendship could never have lasted under those circumstances. I'm grateful to have let go of a toxic relationship, but doing that left a big hole in my life.
Aloha Plumeria!! This kinda suggest a Pacific setting?
I related to your post and remembered all the days before learning how to be alone and not be lonely. Sound funny? It did for me...crazy in fact like so many of the things I heard as a newcomer and what eventually happened was that when I learned to love and appreciate myself the loneliness vanished. I also have my own business and lots of family and friends and a great wife and times when I am so okay being alone without it all...just me and HP...God as I understand God...Akua and many other forms, shapes and descriptions of God. Soooo when I am alone I am with God and me. We both like and love each other and keep good company. Of course there are the pups also...Chloe and Sadie.
I enable them alot without the same consequences as enabling an alcoholic.
I'm also alone alot too. I do alot of writing alone, I live by myself...
I notice alot of people who are in my position have purchased notebook computers. What they will do is they will bring their computers with them to places like starbucks or the mall, some place with a Wi Fi hook up, and that way they get their isolation feelings under control and still get work done.
I also go to the YMCA often. I am involved as an academic tutor for the local school district. I talk to my sponsor often. I have a job out side of my "job" (p/t) at a dept store.
I know exactly how you feel. It is not a good feeling at all. I was this way a couple of weeks ago, went home from work, slept. Came home, slept. Didn't answer the phone. I decided I will NOT be this way anymore. Life is what you make it. I began going to as many meetings as I could, and doing other things, getting out almost every night. It is so much better. I have gone out every night this week and my weekend is full. My mood is better and I am interacting with people. There are people who need help also, like Noni said, volunteering is great. Exercise also helps your mood and may make you more confident to get out there and do something different. There are so many things you can do to meet people, take a class, go to a bookstore for a special event, etc.... but face to face meetings are wonderful if you can get to more!!!
Thanks so much to all of you who have responded to my post. You have given me a lot of great suggestions. I think it's really important for me to very deliberately schedule time with other people, and to consider that a priority. If I focus too much on my work, it really isn't healthy. I went to a dance class tonight and found it to help my emotional state tremendously. One of the fears I have is that my commitment to writing my book will lead to more loneliness, but now I know that I can always take my laptop to a place where there are people and not be alone.
