The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am tired. So tired of dealing. With him, with myself, with my job, everything.
I just want to sleep. My house is a mess. We have no clean clothes. The fridge is a mess. Dishes in the sink. Dishes in the drainer. I just come home, try to cope, go to work, come home, and do it all over again. My heart feels like a stone weight. Hubby has not been mean or anything, outside of his not showing up for dinner with my sis, bil, and I Sat. night. But that was his loss, not ours. And Thank God he had the good sense to run and get in his truck and drive off, stay gone for 2 days, while I was hitting the wall and having a major meltdown.
My hand hurts non stop, from the tendonitis, or whatever I have been dealing with. Specialist appt. is next Monday. Vicodin doesn't even touch the pain. Have to work using hand tools with this hand. The pain is getting to me. Have tried a splint, ice, heat, ibuprofen, etc. No relief. Is making me irritable.
Sorry. Just needed to vent this morning before work so I don't go in there and start hitting the Lexus radios I make, or throwing them around! Just kidding, all you Lexus drivers. About the hitting and throwing.
Constant, chronic pain can make you feel this way...I am sure. Hopefully that will get taken care of soon.
In the meantime...take some time and just put yourself in that hot air balloon and float away from it all.
I am there with you with the messy house...dishes in the sink...laundry piling up. When I am overwhelmed I cannot handle the smallest task. Try to take one thing at a time. I read somewhere if you can just get your kitchen in order you can feel so much of an accomplishment.
I know that feeling all too well. It's those times when my "Piper Days" become even more important. Call them mental health days or whatever. The point is to make time for yourself. Do what you want, even if it's to stay in bed all day. To heck with the dishes, they'll be there when you get up. You can go window shopping (I'm doing that on Friday) so it doesn't cost you anything. Take a walk in the woods, get back in touch with your HP. Relish in the beauty of the fall. Spend the day playing with the kitties. Spend the day in a long wonderful bubble bath. You may come out wrinkled, but you'll be . We all deserve to be haooy and healthy. Be extra good to yourself. You are so worth it.
Love and blessings to you and the kitties.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Thanks, family. I know a lot of my bad feelings come from this stupid hand pain. The specialist is going to see me this Monday. I am taking the day off from work, the whole day. I am hoping hubby will help me on Sat. to get the house back in order.....why is it that all the housework has "my" name on it. And when he does housework, it's called "helping". He lives there too. Grrrrrr. Let me rephrase that, on Sat., hopefully hubby and I can work together to get the house back in order. There. That's better.
I have, thankfully, learned how to type without moving the part of my hand that hurts. It's right at the base of my thumb. I just use my index finger to type the letters that I would normally use my thumb to hit. Works for me.
I am not sleeping well due to the pain, and I think the daily grind of dealing with alcoholism, combined with the stress of company, kitchen being redecorated, daughter and husband not speaking after almost 2 years, work has been stressful lately (my job has to be done p-e-r-f-e-c-t-l-y. If not, if I or anyone else makes an assembly error, they call a big meeting at your station. Grrrr.
I am sorry your hand is giving you so much trouble. Physical pain complicates everything.
Have you ever seen the movie "Office Space?". I think they did all their research at my office. I have a lot of empathy for the convergance of the mini-gods at your desk. Get you a good Dilbert calander. That always seems to fit for me. LOL
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
I know the hand pain I deal with it every day it's awful, the only thing to do is rest the hand however I know that's impossible when you need to work, I have the same problem. As for the house mine is also a mess I find my A draines all my extra energy and is constantly making a mess. I have resigned myself to the fact that my house is going to be a mess my hands are going to kill me and I will be exhausted. Hang in their. I hope they can help your hand problem.
Reading your last few posts, I think I know how you were feeling when you hit the wall! When I was living with my alcoholic/cocaine-addicted husband, there were times when I'd go into rages that really scared me! There were nights when he'd say he was coming right home and several hours later I'd try calling his cell phone, which he'd turn it off. I would make myself so crazy worrying about him. Although I never punched a wall, I screamed, I cried, and I threw things... I was SO angry. It's a horrible feeling.
I can also relate to your hand pain. I have suffered with tendonitis for years. I got it from working on a computer. Repetitive motion, hands in the wrong position on the keyboard. I ended up going to a hand specialist and he ultimately shot my wrist with cortisone. It took the pain away for quite a long time. I still have to be careful, but it's much better now. There is hope for ending your hand pain. I know that constant pain like that is exhausting on it's own... it's got to be overwhelming on top of dealing with an A every day.
Take good care of yourself and don't be too hard on yourself.
...Artygirl.
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Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.
Spend the day playing with the kitties. Spend the day in a long wonderful bubble bath. You may come out wrinkled, but you'll be 
. We all deserve to be haooy and healthy. Be extra good to yourself. You are so worth it. 
