The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So, I need y'all to remind me I'm going to be okay. More than okay. I'm going to be just fine.
These past two weeks I've had migrane after migrane after migrane. And they've been debilitating to the point that I've missed class after class after class. So on my sponsor's encouragement, I borrowed her courage and I sent an email to my professor's, telling them that No, I'm not skipping, yes, I'm really sick, and yes, I understand there are consequences.
The emails I got back would be from a **healthy** person's prospective supportive, encouraging, and kind. From **my** prospective it was of the nature, "Oh god! People caring about me! Oh god! Oh god! Oh god!" The professors expressed concern about my grades, they were relieved that I was actually ill (as opposed to screwing around), and they're concerned because, GUESS WHAT, now that my doctor has FINALLY gotten back to me, it's mid terms. (It's always easier to have a mutually resentful relationship, after all...a relationship where people care about you involves work, honesty, and the need to be vulnerable.)
So now I'm in contact with my doctor, that I'm restless about my grades, I find out the beuracreatic NIGHTMARE that is my neurologist. I called his "main" office 3, count'em THREE times, only for a very irate receptionist to call me back and upbraid me reguarding their policies--apparently the young lady felt that if she repeated herself in a LOUDER voice, MORE times, I would understand her. And I had to tell her that pain does not make me STUPID, it makes me impatient--but you'll be proud of me! I started EVERY sentence with "If I'm hearing you correctly, you're saying...." or "I understand you to say..." I even said to her "I can only imagine how stressful your job is, with all of the policies you have to uphold and cater to. But I'm still at a loss about some things." It turns out that because my charts were at the "satellite" officies the secretary could not so much as tell the doctor I had CALLED, let alone have a nurse call in a perscription for me--so when the pharmacy called the office, when the satellite called the office, when I called the office, I get the impression that she became a MIGHT irritated with me. Ya? Yet, god did for me what I could not do for myself--I called the "satellite" office and I told her exactly what I had been told, exactly the quality of service I had been given (and speaking as someone who works in customer service, if **I** had behaved the way that young lady did, I'd be out of a job! ) and asked her what to do.
"Just give me a minute, then I'll call you back" The next thing I knew, I had the meds I needed. Thank you, god.
So please, remind me I'm going to be okay. That this too shall pass. I plan on making an appoint ment with the dr. Because this is becoming ludicrous. Thank you. I love you. Have a good day.
In spite of having a really trying time, it sounds to me like you really will be OK! Nerves get frazzled around mid-terms for everyone. Try to allow yourself more time than you would ever need to get your studying done. Don't plan or commit to much with anyone.
My son did an exercise with one of his prof.s and it was to allocate the recommended amount of time per class to studying, then add in work, eating, going to the store, etc. It left him about 3 hours a night for sleep. LOL
I think his point was, this is a small part of the rest of your life, but it requires a lot a sacrifice to do well.
Hang in there.... you can do it!
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
You ARE okay. This will pass, this will pass. You sound incredibly strong in spite of your horrible ordeal! And calm! And posting about it!
I can't imagine how a migraine feels, and have a great friend who has suffered most of her life from them. I will pray and send good vibes your way.
God carries us through all things, and you sound like you are doing well, and conducting yourself with peace, dignity and grace. Congrats and I hope you feel better really soon...
I agree w/ Hersh, you already are okay! You have really taken this lump that life has thrown you and are walking thru it! You encourage me .
It will pass, in time. You know your HP is working for you, take it easy on yourself, you may want to tackle it all but give yourself a break. Don't let the frustration of missing class get to you, listen to your body, if you need to slow down and find out what it going on -- that is what you need to do. It's what is best for you.
I tend to find there are reasons for all things, when you are in the middle of it it may seem impossible to even think of a reason. It's only after we've gone thru things that the reason appears.
Continue to stay in touch with your professor. Keep him informed about what is going on. You'll continue to be surprised how understanding professors can be when students keep lines of communication open.
Your share challenged me to live up to your behavior. You were professional, kind, calm yet persistant. Slow and easy wins the game. Awesome strength demonstrated by contacting your professors and allowing yourself to be vulnerable at such a stressful, painful and uncomfortable time. Even if you find yourself redoing a few of these classes, I consider you the winner here. I applaud your integrity in dealing with difficult situations with such poise.
Thank you for having shared. I know you are doing fine and continue to get better. Sometimes our darkest times are always just before the dawns of new understanding.
Pat yourself on the back once you headaches get better. You deserve it, we care for you here as well.
oh Tiger, I am battling migraine too. It robs life doesn't it? It is part of my disabling condition.
Hey remember your education is YOURS. You are not in high school anymore. You can always call and arrange to take your mids later, you can even request more time to get things done.
I am sure the profs loved to hear from you. They like a student who cares. good for you hon!
Relpax works for me but my stupid insurance does not cover it. I tried maxalt but it made me horribly sick.
I hate taking narcotics.
You will feel better and things will be easier to deal with. I have to allow my self to be sick. Sounds so dumb. but I used to feel so guilty for having a headache.
More like a Tigger than a Tiger. It's gotten so as a result of working this program that I can only think of the old "rip their heads off" behavior and thought. Those were the days huh? Yah now we use love and compassion and understanding and empathy and patience and all these other "values." I won't even ask what this world is getting to cause I know that it is a far better place that what it was like for me where the disease was raging right along with me!!
Did you feel the power and control that comes from using all the program characters? Makes me feel that I am putting the other person who is out of sync, at a disadvantage. They get flustered and snotty and they get loved...what a concept!!
I have had migraines at times, probably not as bad as yours or the ones my daughter suffers from either and I know that they don't feel good (understatement) in the least. I do know that learning how to handle pain metaphysically for me has been a miracle cause now just when they (migraines or most other pains for that matter) start I can work at releasing myself from the pain at that moment. Its kinda like my other program too. I have been med free for so long that asking for a prescription or going to get one filled last happened 6 years ago and I ended up tossing the stuff anyway cause the other program works better. I am a chemically tolerant person anyhow and the metaphysical practice has been a miracle because in order for my body to demonstrate a drug effect I have to be on large doseage (kinda close to over dose) levels.
Hope the migraines leave forever...replaced by ((((((hugs))))))
Great job standing up for you - Yes, you are going to be ok - even better than ok!! Sounds like you are working a great program of recovery.
Also, wanted to share my experience with migraines - I started having migraines, like you, 3-4 a week. I researched on the internet and found there are maintenance medications that you can take for migraines. You may want to talk to your Dr to see if you are a candidate for that type of treatments. Topamax is the medication that my Dr prescribed for me. So far, no side effects and it has been great on reducing the # of migraines to maybe 1 every couple of months.
Good luck with school - hope that you are able to catch up on the classes you missed.
Take care of yourself!!
Rita
T
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
(((tiger))))yes, you ARE and WILL BE Ok! You're still breathing, you sound like you are handling things very well in spite of migraines! I've only had them a couple of times, but my daughter gets them, and they just lay her out.
Life has lots of bumps and downs, but there's always an upside. And we will be right here for you, ready to listen, to hold your hand. Whatever you need. We are here.
I'll remind you if you remind me. Hope you're feeling better. Ahhh.... the beaurecractic nightmare that are called Doctors! I get just thinking about it.
I too am in customer service, and I can tell you I'd be hitting the unemployment line too! Perhaps she was having a bad day.
Glad the professors are supporting you. You'll get caught up. Just take a deep breath. Slow and steady my friend. A professor reminded me that "A racehorse can only go so fast." I like to say, "I'm so far behind that I'm going backwards, if I don't stop trying to speed up." Back to the baby steps.
Love and blessings to you.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I have had to deal with illness many many times in my life. I often feel incredibly frustrated with the systems I deal with. I do think the receptionist in this practice needs a little help. There is no way anyone should have to wait for access to their medical record. The pharmacist has a record of the drug you are on. Talk about an advertisment for the need for electronic records. It also sounds like they are incredibly short staffed there.
I Know I often put on myself these incredibly heavy hurry up messages. If you miss a semester it is not the end of the world. I have my ..own I will not survive if...messages. In fact I have survived so much I can pretty much survive anything.
I am glad that your professor is helpful. I am sorry you are missing work and suffering a loss of money too. I have recently had a terrible cold and had to stock up on cold medicine. I did not have the money for it and was running my old beat myself up tapes. Remember you need to take care of you..there is no one else to do it. Obviously as children of A's we are great at taking care of everyone else but you so now it is time for you to focus on one thing..get better. in spite of the rotten office experience you have had. Take good care of yourself, give yourself a break, break of the what if's. Whatever they are you can manage through them, you have us, you have already survived so much.
Yet, god did for me what I could not do for myself--I called the "satellite" office and I told her exactly what I had been told, exactly the quality of service I had been given (and speaking as someone who works in customer service, if **I** had behaved the way that young lady did, I'd be out of a job! 
) and asked her what to do. 
just thinking about it.