The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My husband has a couple he is friends with. The guy is his best friend from 1st grade, so they have been friends a long time. I like him pretty well, but his wife gets on my nerves easily. This makes it diffucult when my AH wants me to go to their house to visit, cos I always get stuck listening to her about how great her house is, her marriage is, her kids are...blah.blah.blah. She gets drunk and loud and obnoxious, screaming, laughing, etc. She wears me out in a real short time. She's one of those people who, whatever they have or have done is better than yours. She and her husband are both A's. They have a beautiful home, but start drinking very early in the morning. If I did that, I would live in a dump! LOL
Anyway, (thanks for letting me vent a little) this weekend they are having a shower for her son and his wife who are expecting their first baby. The invitation read, in part
BABY SHOWER!
It's a Boy! Very Casual Dress. GUYS WELCOME! BYOB!
What the He**!!!!! I mean, excuse my language, but I never heard of a baby shower being "BYOB"! That is just insane, and not right, in my opinion. So I told my AH that I didn't want to go. These people cannot even get together for a baby shower without drinking. It just hits me really wrong, wrong, wrong. Is there no end to the stupidity! Jeesh!
Anyway, my oldest sister from Colorado is coming to Ohio Friday with her husband. They have a trailer and are traveling from Colorado, up north, going to Maine, then Pennsylvania, then here to Ohio. I can't wait to see them. Don't know how long they will be here, hope my daughter can get someone to sub for her at work so she can spend some time with them. The plans are to go to The Winery where you cook your own steak dinner. It's really good. My sister and her husband are not A's. It will be so good to spend some time with people who are not!
Any input on drinking at a baby shower? Don't even get me started again....Hmmmm, maybe this will be a "come as you are" party.......drunk.
WOW, I need my smelling salts...and you probably need to borrow them, LOL.
I think I have heard everything now.
I would learn to crochet or something and make a lovely handmade gift for the baby so no one accuses you of not caring, then not go near that baby shower with a ten foot pole!
If you go...remember your smelling salts, as you will probably experience sights and sounds that will make you swoon, LOL.
I think the only thing I can say about that is..... there but for the grace of God go I. Glad you realized that it wasn't for you to attend and you were able to bow out of going.
EEEWWWWWWWWWWW! A BYOB baby shower? Did they mean, bring your own baby?
I predict they suddenly need you at work or your daughter has an emergency. Gee Becky you're looking very pale and feverish. Me thinks you are contagious and should stay in bed all weekend and Or your relatives want to surprise you and take you on a special trip that only you and them can go on. Or you suddenly have a sick relative in another state and need your inlaws to drive you. Hey I'm trying.
I hope you can get out of this, because I certainly wouldn't want to go. Good luck!
Love and blessings to you and your family. Kiss the kitties for me!
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
This doesn't surprise me at all, I met a lot of people in my husband's drinking years who would have thought this perfectly appropriate. There is no such thing as a non drinking occasion for A's. So I'm wondering, is the baby born already, or is she still pregnant? I see a lot of fetal alcohol syndrome at work - those kids have two strikes against them for life, right from the start. Hate to see a pregnant woman drinking.
Welllllllllll... I'm pretty good at saying it like it is these days. I don't cover up my feelings anymore. I'd send a gift, and if anyone inquired as to why I wasn't there I'd just say I was very uncomfortable celebrating a blessed event such as a child with booze present. If no one asked, then I'd just say nothing.
Last summer we were invited to a party and I declined. When asked why, I just said I have been around enough booze to last me a lifetime but y'all have fun :).
They key is to say "I". And not "I think you people are disgusting"..lol
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
you know, that's funny. every baby shower i have been to except mine or the ones i have thrown there has been drinking. alcohol provided so not byob but still it always struck me as wrong considering the honored guest could not partake. me personally i just hate alcohol in every setting and refuse to have it at any of my own get togethers. i have also been to a number of little kid birthdays where drinking is a norm. again, just stikes me as the wrong message to be sending children. and these kid parties are thrown by "non-alcoholics" who just can't seem to relax and have fun at a party without the use of alcohol. that is their decision and mine has been to go and stay as long as i felt comfortable and then leave. that way i can at least put in an apperance and feel good about that plus i do love a social outting.*snort* that sounds so silly but i do!
Becky, I guess any occasion, or lack of one, is a good opportunity for an A to drink. Sounds wacky to me as it does to you. Let's see
One toast for the baby.
Two because he is a boy.
Three because Mom has gained weight.
Four because Dad is proud.
Five because everyone brought a gift.
Six because she will have a C-Section.
This could go on for a long time.
Sometimes I just have to laugh at the insanity of it all. Thanks for your post Becky. I really do understand how you feel about this, but when an A's involved, there's not much reasoning. LOL!!!!
I can take out my hearing aid; I've heard EVERYTHING!!!
Best to ya Becky, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Hi Becky, wow, you stirred up some lively responses :)
At first I was appalled too, but then I began to think...I can recall people who would do that and think nothing of it. But that was in the darker ages wasn't it? Don't people know today that alcohol and pregnancy don't mix? And won't the new mom-to-be attend and won't she think she has to celebrate too? Oh what the h....who cares, let em be crazy, and you don't even have to explain Why you can't come to the orgy. You just had something come up like throwing up thinking what they are doingin the name of babyhood. :)
Like Christy, I have seen enough booze to last me a lifetime or two, smelled it too.
Thanks for the responses, everyone. As far as I know, the Mom-to-be is not an A (yet!)
My husband has "his" group of friends, all of whom are A's. Some of the wives are A's, too, some not.
I have "my" group of friends, some don't drink at all, some used to, some are few-and-far-between drinkers like I am.
I have never been to, and none of my friends have ever had a baby shower at which there was drinking. I can go visit my friends without taking a case of beer. I can just go and take myself!
Well, this baby shower is one place I am NOT going. Another thing is, it is my husband's friends, and I get dang sick and tired of always having to be the one to buy, wrap, deliver gifts for all the parties we get invited to. Costs me a fortune. I know, it's not the baby's fault. I'll probably just send a gift card for someplace after he's born. But, still, it gets on my nerves.
The way this disease twists and destroys everything and everyone it touches just baffles me to no end.
P.S.Can you imagine the lovely "baby shower" pics that the mom-to-be will have to put in the baby's book. "Oh, sweetie! Look! There's your Uncle Billy waving good-bye as he goes on another beer run at your shower! Oh, and isn't this precious! Your Grandma is pouring shots for everyone! Oh, we had such a great time, until Grandpa started being mouthy and called your Daddy a no-good...well, um, lets get out your coloring books. I know you're tired of looking at those old baby shower pictures anyway. We can color until Daddy calls from the bar for us to go pick him up, OK, Sweetie?" I can only imagine.
My dil baby shower had beer served. It was in April of this year and I had been sober 1 month. I got there and everyone kept trying to shove a beer in my hand. I was floored.
This shower was given by dil mother. Same woman who just thursday called to tell me I raised my son fn wrong. I am to make him stop drinking. After 5 minutes I figured out she was drunk. Told her off and hung up. Now have her number blocked from our house.
That is just insane, and not right, in my opinion. So I told my AH that I didn't want to go. These people cannot even get together for a baby shower without drinking. It just hits me really wrong, wrong, wrong. Is there no end to the stupidity! Jeesh!
A BYOB baby shower? Did they mean, bring your own baby? 
Me thinks you are contagious and should stay in bed all weekend and 
Or your relatives want to surprise you and take you on a special trip that only you and them can go on. Or you suddenly have a sick relative in another state and need your inlaws to drive you. Hey I'm trying.
