((Hello group))

It has been a topsy turvy few days that started Friday evening.  I got home and my neighbor told me that a certified letter was waiting for me from my condo association to say that I had 10 days to pay any back maintenance fees or they'd put a lien on my condo.  Well, I realized their records were wrong and I didn't have to pay quite as much as they asked.  Then I received another letter from them asking for another assessment this year; which brings a total of over 3 thousand dollars for one year.  That is a great deal of money to ask from people especially when they are struggling.  These things seem to happen all at once and when my A is out of work.  We had a terrible weekend due to the stress, I was stressed about money, my A was stressed about work and money.  His last employer tried to rip him off, the guy he worked with on Thursday is keeping half his money.  Its unfortunate there are so many crooks in this world.  Despite our arguing and verbal jabs towards one another I was able to seperate from him for a while to collect myself.  Saturday, I dropped him off at home and told him he needed a break, I took the kids to the movies and shopping for their cousins birthdays.  Sunday, we left the A sitting on the couch moping and depressed while we drove out to the country for the birthday party.  We had a blast and when I arrived home the A had four pages of jobs listed and ready to call on Monday, the house was cleaned, and he cooked a fabulous dinner.  I asked what got into him, and he said I just have to turn it around. 

Sometimes I think HP does his best work when we are removed from the craziness of the situation.  My mom was at the party and said to me the next day that despite our money issues I looked better and healthier than I've looked in months.  So, I guess I'm doing something right for a change.  For the last month or so I've been in a quandry about whether to sell my condo and seperate from the A, or sell and rent something with him, or stay put.  I did not expect him to work hard at lining up his actions with his words, so I've just been putting my plans on hold and observing his behavior.  I have observed moments of sensitivity, times of feeling genuine love, I'm watching how he treats me and the children and how he speaks to us.  It has not completely changed and I didn't expect it to.  What I do expect is for him to work at finding out what makes him happy and I'm doing the same. 

Yesterday I met with the property manager and settled out my debt with them and asked how many units were on the market now, she said 17! Wow that's a high number, and they are not selling and the asking prices are lower than what I wanted to sell for.  So, we basically decided we are not selling right now we'll be staying in our home and riding out this transition.  Once the property is completely upgraded it will boost our resale value.  Maybe at that time things will be more stable with the A.  I don't know why HP chooses for me to stay right now.  Just last month I was calling my family and telling them I was leaving the A and selling the condo.  I was done... this month my life and relationship looks different in a much more positive light and I'm being forced to keep my condo because I'm not going to sell if doesn't benefit the family.  I was going to use that equity money to buy the kids and I a new home eventually.  It was a good example to me that pausing in my life and waiting for the answer to be revealed will eventually happen.  Its the waiting part that is difficult.  As someone said yesterday not doing anything can be the hardest part of our recovery.  So today is a much better day.  I have a new direction, and yes, the A found a job yesterday and started today.  Decent pay with a decent company.  Hope it will work out for him.  Have a great day.

Living Life One Day At A Time,

Twinmom~