The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So...My A never came home last night. Then this morning, from work, he called crying the blues. I told him I was very busy at work and he should call our couples counselor if he needed to talk . hahaha...that went over big.
After work, my friend called and said she saw my truck, that he drives, at a bar. I called him and told him if my truck wasn't home in 20 minutes, I would be coming to get it. I think allowing a drunk to drive your vehicle is participating in attempted murder. Well, of course he wasn't home in 20 so I went to get the vehicle on my way to dinner and dance class with my kids. I had my friend drive us to pickup the truck and then went on my merry way. Then the cell started ringing. Of course it didn't ring all night last night while he was out and about.
Oh the threats and "how could I leave him stranded". I simply said...It's my name that is insured and there will be no drunk driving in my vehicle.
He is passed out right now. I thought at first I should not discuss it with the kids but they are 10 and 12 and were asking what was going on. So I simply stated what they hear on TV..."FRiends don't let friends drink and drive"...and I told them he was mad because when people drink they get mad when others tell them what to do. Period...the kids said "oh...good Mom."
That was really a great thing to do! I'm sure he's mad about it, but hey, he probably would have been mad at you anyway, for one thing or another! I'll file this one in my "stop enabling" brain file.
Good for you taking the tuck away! I had a similar situation my A got his 2nd Dui in the car I bought him because we couldn’t afford the Gas in his van, at the time I didn’t realize he was a A I thought he was only a drug addict… Well his van was broken down and so after he got his license back about 2 months ago he promised me he wouldn’t drink and drive my car. Well almost immediately he I caught him doing it and took the keys away well he begged and pleaded and promised and I foolishly gave him the keys back again what a mistake that was not only did it rot my guts with worry that he would ruin my name and insurance rating etc. He did it again d & d my car. They cant’ stop them selves. Well I bought a new battery and got his van running and took my key back well he was furious because he still wanted to drive my car whenever it was convenient. I will tell you how relieved I am he is not driving my car I’m still worried he will get another DUI in his van but at least it will be in his name. Good Luck ! Angie.
Wow, great for you!!! Really, that is so wonderful to set boundaries like that and just get going and stick to them and follow through!!! Thanks for the inspiration. He would have been mad about something else anyway if he acts like my AH does. And good for you with the explanation to the kids. Simple, true and you maybe saved someone's life by taking a drunk driver off of the road.... BRAVO!!!!
