The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This past week I had two job interviews for short term jobs that pay well. I did not get either. I came close on one. I have not heard from the other so I can presume I did not get that either. Normally I would go off into feeling like a victim about this. I would cite all the issues that prevent me from getting a job, there are many as we all know. I have a job at the moment at night, a low paying job (I have not been paid so little in 20 years) and I pick up work when I can which means I work long hours for well nothing.
A big part of my leaving the A hinges on money. So I have to rather than sit on my laurels get back up again and start looking once more. I know I want out. I know I want out without being homeless and money is a core issue for me. The A will always find ways to cause chaos and crisis in my life. I know that. I know what that brings. Long term I do not want that. For 6 years now I have been waiting for better and there is no better. There is more of the same, more of being last on the list, more of his dysfunctional insufferable family (holidays are a nightmare with them), more of his friends coming first, more of getting nothing. I know that I am not waiting for a miracle anymore.
So I have to get back on the horse of job hunting again, as hard as it is and keep at it. Money is a big issue for me. It means independence, it means choices, it means that I can get out from under his tantrums and his demands. It means that I can say No more often.
Sometimes I dont' know where I will get the energy from. I know this last week going on t hose job interviews was stressful. I think it is however stressful to do nothing too so I don't think I have much of choice about it.
I know how frustrating it is to go on interviews and then not get the job. Before I got my present job I went through a period of this for 3 months. I can understand money being an issue that has be put in order before an exit from a relationship can happen. It has been a big factor in my life as well. I will keep you in prayer that an opportunity will come to you at the right time. Hang in there.
Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
Is that the truth- I bet if you took a poll 75% of us are staying because we feel we don't have the money to go. I do think that if you just keep at it you will find something better- I to work 40 hrs aweek and don't make crap, hell my A made more than me on unemployment!!! Nice feeling to have worked in a stressful enviroment all day to come home to someone who has sat on the couch and made more than you- I will keep you in prayers all week- Keep your head up put a smile on your face and someone will notice you for who you are- YOU can do it!!! You are a strong person. Keep comin back if you need someone to talk to-
This seems like "Easy does it" time. That's not the same as procrastination. Money is important. Self sufficiency and self esteem yah!! Good pay and good job surely!!
Letting Go...and letting God have a hand in the process works so much better I have found than trying to make it happen all by myself. I have found out that if I really look for a job I will find one or lots of them. I have found out also that if I really look for a job with HP's will in mind and a willingness to carry that out I find a job that I will be effective at satisfied and will have the money also. I also had to understand about me and money. How much did I use, how much did I need, what was my habit with money? The answer to some of these questions included living in a garage for a while (part of my recovery story) and I learned responsibility (am still learning it) with money.
