The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This was quite an experience for me and I just had to share.
It was our Men's group 12th Anniversary meeting. Food, Fellowship, an AA and an Al-Anon speaker.
I can't always get to this meeting, the timing isn't great for me. But I really wanted to make this meeting. I had missed all the planning yet there was still an opening for someone to read the opening and the closing. I figured, I'll volunteer for the opening, then I'll HAVE to go and I'll take the opening because I don't want to have to go after the wonderful speakers. Yeah, I know, unhealthy thinking. LOL
So....I find out that this Anniversary meeting usually draws 50 people. I haven't spoken to a group that large since my fraternity days and even smaller since taking public speaking. I just couldn't let go of the fear. Then I kinda go roped into the closing. Long story, funny but long. My biggest fear was not being loud enough, that is one of my problems when speaking
This meeting also was offering those celebrating an Alanon Anniversary to get their coin. It's my one year so I signed up.
I also invited my children, 2 who said maybe, 1 who said ok, and my wife who said things that weren't nice. LOL
The day comes, my two daughters are going. My oldest who had called me an a**hole 10 months prior for taking my younger ones to an Alateen meeting, asked me what I was getting again. I said a coin for 1 year and replied, 'cool'. Wow.
We got there, and our group was as we pride ourselves, practicing the 9th Tradition. We were a bit unorganized. I ran out the car to get some extra soda I had and I still had to run around and find the speakers, introduce myself and get ready to introduce them.
So I get up there and I start the meeting. I read our opening. Two lines in I realize I forgot the Serenity prayer. I'm wondering what the heck I'm doing up there, I'm sweating. The irony that I worried intensely over not being loud enough and I FORGOT the SERENITY PRAYER !
I get to the part about using the Serenity prayer and say "which I realize I forgot." I get through the opening do the Serenity Prayer, albeit late and introduce the gentleman handing out the awards. We were asked if we wanted to say a few words. I forget what I said, I didn't say much.
I got through introducing the speakers ok and sat back in the room near my kids with my coin. Of interest, my coin says XXVI, LOL. I got a kick out of that. Figuring that means I have at least another 1/4 of a century on this earth in recovery. I thought about a share of another Alanon member about how special getting their coin was to them. I thought about how grateful I was my children attended. I got choked up just thinking about it. They actually came for ME !
One of the speakers spoke of a HP moment or two they had and I realized I was in the midst of one. I stood up, thanked the speakers and took a minute to share. I shared how and why I volunteered. How nervous I was and questioned why I even did it. I realized something. Had I not done both the opening and closing, I would not have the 2nd opportunity to do something I forgot, someting in addition to the serenity prayer.
It was all I could do to choke back tears as I looked up and thanked my children for coming to see me get my coin that evening. My oldest, yup the one w/ the ahole comment looked up and smiled. I composed myself, barely, did the closing and then walked to the back of the room to join my children in the Lord's Prayer.
I volunteered for other reasons, but it gave me an opportunity to show my children just how important they were for me there that evening.
I still can't get over they were there. I still can't get over that I forgot to thank them while getting my coin. I still am in awe of the fact that my HP put me in a position that I could say those important words to them.
Thanks to all tha have been on this journey with me for the last year.
Bobump
-- Edited by bobump at 22:03, 2006-09-26
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
So good to see a share from you.I remember you being around more when I first started coming to MIP.I remember your share about leaving your wife at that place.I don't remember where it was but I remember how hard it was for you to turn and leave her there.I swear I was glued to your share at that meeting and impressed with your strength.I wanted that too.
Congratulations on your year.That is wonderful that your kids were there for that, just awesome,what a moment.You're a great dad, you deserve it.
Hope you stick around and pop in the meetings sometime.We need you.
How awesome that your children were there to support you. I have told my story several times and most of the time my AH is there, but none of my girls have been able to attend. But I am excited to say, the last few times all 5 of them have call either before or after to wish me good luck or to ask how I did. They will never know how much their support means to me. I can relate to how important it was to you to have them at the meeting with you.
So glad you shared that story with us - isn't awesome that we don't have to be perfect in recovery - that we are accepted just as we are!!
Thanks again,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
Good to see you back! Where have you been stranger? We've missed you. I have tears in my eyes reading that. Amazing how resillient kids are. Wish we could have been there to hear you speak. Welcome home.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.