The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
"He has to see and believe drugs take away my home, my ability to work, my friends, my dignity my family etc."
Thanks so much for saying that Debilyn. It really helped me to believe that we are doing the right thing with having my son move out of the house.
As the day goes on I am feeling better about things. I know I will still be worried about him feeling abandoned by us. He was already abandoned by his A bio dad when he was little. He is a grown man and needs to either live in the real world and deal with the problems he has or he has to suffer all the consequences for not dealing with them.
I need Alanon more than ever at this time. I wish hubby would go with me but he says no. He did agree to read "Getting them Sober"
lol geez at first i thought, "oh man I am in trouble" when I saw your post! lol
You know, when I was in college as an old lady of forty, we talked about how we can change things. How we really had to believe the truths we know are true.
For instance we can say to someone cigarettes are bad, they stink, they are not good for you, look at this smokers lungs, look at the non smokers lungs. Unless they really take it in and really make it part of them and how it effects them, it does not sink in.
In a way an A in recovery is like that. They learn at AA how a socalled normal person is suppose to be. Remember many have been enabled so much that they never learned like they should have, plus they drank away learning experiences.
They are so self absorbed. So they learn, that to ask people questions shows you care about them. So they do. They may learn manners, or see how a person asks someone to marry them.
BUT it is all acting, until they really feel it, really believe it. The ones that do, usually have a much longer time before they relapse, a few do not relapse.
The ones who never really believe it all, relapse, and relapse and relapse until they really really believe it.
Some have to go thru horrible horrible things to get it. Some go thru horrible things and never get it, they die.
I suppose this sounds real complicated. I thought about it a lot today.
Was also thinking, think about if everytime something awful happens that pain is a memory made in your brain, POP. Instead of going thru the pain, learning it will be ok, ya drink and not grieve.
Every time someone dies, ya lose a pet, or ya lose a friend, all these memories are in your brain.
Ok then ya detox, can you imagine??? ALL those memories, all the grief never dealt with, gads it is no wonder A's relapse! I am not making excuses these are humans who are sick.
So, we just cannot make them comfortable. The sooner they get sick the better.
I will shut up now. lol
You are really really good parents. I wish my A's mother would have not enabled him forever. sigh
