The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The A I've lived with for 6 years didn't come home last night. It's not the first time and I know it won't be the last. But my kids are 10 and 12 now and they "get it" that he isn't still working at 10 pm. I don't want them to think their successful mom is a sap when it comes to relationships and what she will tolerate. I've tried to end this relationship a dozen times. Each time I try everytime he pulls his A bluff stuff. He makes stupid promises and behaves for a while.
I haven't spoken to him as of right now for 26 hours. My career is amazing, my finances are sound, my kids are brilliant and happy...and my mentality is about to break. Help me...anyone to see...I personally have a life that anyone would wished for...why do I keep loving and settling for this diseased person who I don't need to "provide" for us, I can't depend on, has fits of immature rages when he is questioned, and is jealous of my children's opportunities. I am in counseling and he actually goes with me for "couples therapy". But I actually get embarassed in front of the therapist at his behavior.
sounds like you know what you want and you have the ability to do it so I guess you just need to make a commitment to yourself one way or the other. Leaving is hard! Staying away is even harder but so is living with an A and I know EXACTLY what you mean about your kids seeing you allow this to happen I feel the same way.
I just left mine 3 weeks ago and it's hard, it doesn't get any easier but then I try to think about ALL those times he disappeared for days on end without calling and was mean to the kids and think why should I miss that?
You know in your heart what to do and you'll make the right decision whatever it is!
Welcome to MIP. If you have been reading here at all, you will see that we are all facing similuar issues. Al-Anon is a program to help us with what happens when surrounded by the disease of Alcoholism.
This is a devistating disease, and the pain it causes knows no bounds.
Over time it effects us emotionally and sometimes mentally (in my case LOL). When I came here I was ready to have myself commited. My kids are great, my career is very sucessful, but my sanity was failing because of my relationship with my AW (read alcoholic wife).
This program really does not address fixing your Alcoholic. It can help you understand some of what you see happen, and that is very helpful for me.
The first thing someone told me is called the 3 C's. You didn't cause this, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. What you can do is work on you and help you and your kids lead a better life with or without your A.
Bottom line is if you question why you behave a certain way, this program will help you figure that out, and that is the only way to change. It is very powerful.
I am glad you are here and I hope you will get more information about the program, continue to post and maybe find a local meeting to meet some members. You are not alone in your feelings. There is also an online chat hosted here and the link is on the upper left corner of this page.
Again welcome and Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
(((((kicky)))) big hugs! As I was reading, I was mentally preparing what to say to you, but it looks like rtexas and carolinagirl beat me to it! Wise words from both!
Glad you are here. You are the only one who can decide how much you are willing to sacrifice for your relationship. Keep coming back. You will learn much about yourself.
You will also find so much strength and love here you cannot even imagine!
