The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Last night you asked me a question. You said you needed to know if you had to stop drinking for me to show you any love and affection?
Honey, it's not a simple question to answer. I can tell you this... I do love you, I always have. In the middle of our worst moments I still loved you.
I try and show love by the things I do every day. I say good morning to you with a smile on my face, even if the last words I hear from you when I lay down is that you hate me, and that's it you are out of here.
I try to not make a bad situation worse, I try to not provoke you or do anything that would needlessly anger you, I try to offer solutions to your crys for entertainment even though you have walled yourself off from everyone we know and most activities. Most of all I try to be understanding of the fact that you can't see that these things are done out of love.
So I guess the answer to your question is more simple than I thought, I will continue to put love and affection out on the table for you to take. My question is will you ever be able to see it and take it in without getting help with the pain the drinking causes?
My love always,
me
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Hello Rt, great use of I words . I too used to write my hsb letters cause they just don't hear the words they need to hear. Everyone needs to know they are loved , alcoholics are difficult to show affection too ,even in sobriety . Cause it just never seems to be enough or said the right way ya know?? So I have learned as long as I am doing my part being respectful and doing things for the A that I know they like I am doin my part.
If my husb chooses not to see it there is nothing I can do about that , but doing those things makes me feel better about me . And that is what this program is all about making my life better, making me feel good about me. Period. Louise
Oh wow I have no words to express the beauty I saw in your letter. You had me tearing up at the end. Your whole letter had such gentleness to it.
Thanks for sharing that with us. You got me to thinking. I normally write to him when I am to mad or hurt to talk, and I never give them to him. Maybe writting about the love will be a positive thing.
Remember to take care of you.
Yours in recovery,
Mandy (Dolphin123)
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
Your letter is filled with such compassion and warmth. I think sometimes writing it out not only helps me but the other person too. I think it gives them a chance to take in the thoughts of the other person uninterupted. I think you expressed your feelings honest and open without being disrespectful. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Hugs,
Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
You are a wonderful & gentle man who truly loves his wife. That is an awesome thing to see. Thank you for sharing that with us - that is very brave to open up and pour out your feelings. What a great path of recovery you are on - I too, will join you in your prayers that your wife will someday join you on her own path to recovery.
Again, thanks so much for sharing that with us,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
