The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi all, it's so wonderful to come here and to meetings and to hear es&h. It's such a breath of fresh air to know I'm not the fault of the world like sometime the a and my family of origion makes me feel. My a's quiting tobacco products, or rather was, this whole weekend, I don't think i've said or done 1 thing right i tell ya! It wears on me, till I come here. I have to remember when things are going like that, and the whole world seems to find fault in me, I don't have to believe it. I can take my inventory, make sure my side of the street is clean, then keep my feet on MY side so they stay that way. I know that, and I understand that, but it's still so hard for me to walk away and go do my own thing sometimes. I still want to jump to the other side of the street and clean it up, make it better and then have my good day with my hubby. I have a really hard time accepting when he's not in a good mood, that i cant fix that. You'd think I'd learn cause every time i try, whatever the problem was in the first place ends up getting turned around on me oye vey!!! Anyway, I'm here, so I don't go there.
Remembering all of our principles and actually putting them into practice is another whole different ball game. Is it not? I am so glad you were able to come here and share with us last night. Goodness in the world is ours for the taking. We just have to remember to take it.
Love you, Maria
__________________
If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
I was the scapegoat in my family and bought that role for a long long time. These days a lot of my focus is on taking care of me. Nowadays when the A says its all your fault, I say nothing but I do not internalize it. I internalized it, obsessed about it tried to change his mind and more before. That took up huge chunks of my time. Now I am taking care of me piece by piece and it is slow hard work.
Yep, it was always so hard for me to not try to fix their unhappiness. I now know that it is just NOT my job! And furthermore!..lol... I can sure NOT be dragged down just because someone else is having a bad day. It's not easy if you stay in their place with them, so sometimes, its just better to get out! Even if just for a few minutes. Go out for a walk alone....run to the store...anything.
Glad you have this place to come to..and so glad that you do come here!
Thanks for coming here and posting! As I've said before, I can always relate to you, wanting to fix something that is not mine to fix is a common theme in my life. I love what Maria said about applying the principles and love what u said abuot keeping your side of the street clean. I seem to be making dirt piles in my lane (notice the piles, b/c i have to be organized, even if i do mess it up) lol
You are a true gem and hope u remember how special u are!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Trina)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I so can relate to you and keeping yourself safe!!!! I too want to fix my hubby when he is having a bad day,in a bad mood,sick or whatever the case might be but since being in the program I am doing things a little different for example the other night Hubby was having an issue and it was about him I walked in ask him what was up he said he was mad and i walked out and let him stew in his own attitude... It felt good and i laugh and laugh to myself ofcourase cause i thought what he was upset was pretty dumb.... I just let it go and I keep my self safe!!!!! I am learning!!!!!!!!!:)
So anyways don't beat yourself up we all have times with hubby or family friends I should use the board more myself and I might keep myself out of trouble my street a little cleaner!!!!
Anyways Love ya sweetie lots and you are very SPECIAL!!!!
I still want to believe that I can fix him at times. I can take away his grumpiness. I can take away his feelings of being a burden. I can take away his guilty feelings. Quite the powerful woman am I. NOT! Isn't that how we all got here in the first place? Hope his quitting sticks.
Love and blessings to you.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.