((((everyone)))))

Thanks for your earlier responses.  Maria I laughed when I read yours, I haven't been able to get in touch w/ my sponsor, What would she say?  "Sure we've all wanted to quit, but we don't."  And that would be it, we keep going.  However slow, we just do it until it gets easier, and I know it gets easier.   I also took today for me ... shamefully slept till 10:30, I was exhausted, this makes me laugh too, I haven't done that in years. 

I've thought a lot today, I have a good bit of anxiety over the coming holiday.  Long story short, it will be spent w/ my A and his entire family.  I've thought for days how I could some how, some way avoid this.  The thing is, I wonder why I can't just go and be comfortable being me?  I know them, and I know who I am now, I just worry and it's making me sick. 

ah well, I keep going back to "Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.  When I am disturbed, it is becasue I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life unacceptable to me and I can find no serenity until I accept" it.  Once I told my A in a fit of anger, that somethings you can change, but he'd never be able to change who his family was.  Yike, way pre-alanon, but you get the idea, I'm not looking forward to this.   They are who they are .... this is really going to try my program.  

Thanks again.