The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
He is drunk. Went out this afternoon to put gasoline in his car, and drove home drunk. On about a half bottle of sherry. YUCK!! He went to bed and collapsed. I am determined to hang on to my sanity. But I DID set a boundary several months ago; he drinks, he goes. It is my house and my money. I am sorry that he will have just his small pension, but it is none of my doing. They throw away happiness with both hands. It's too bad. I am most certainly sad, upset, and oh so sorry this has happened. I'll put the house up for sale and go to Hawaii to live. I always wanted to do that, and he wouldn't go. I'll miss the sober side of him, and God knows his dogs will grieve. But, as we all know, nothing, but NOTHING makes any difference to them when they have to have a drink.
Thanks for listening to me, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Oh my! I'm sorry that this has happened for you. Like you, I could never live with an active A. It must have been a sign from HP (and your smart thinking) that made you get a divorce eventhough he was sober at the time. Things happen for a reason.
I can see you definitely living in Hawaii. Watch out The Diva's coming to town.
Love and blessings to you my friend.
Live strong,
Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Diva, well good for you for sticking to your boundary and consequences. Sure is not easy, I know! I am so glad you have a plan and goal as to what is next.
Course I have to ask about the dogs. What happens when you go to Hawaii? Is it hard to get them there with you? Don't they have to be quarentined or something?
Hate the feeling you surely have. Just gotta believe what is next will be better. You will see how healthy you will feel and you will look at it all so different than ya do now.
I am sure he will be fine. They seem to be able to figure it out even in their condition.
Glad you came here and Let us know. Please keep us updated. And we better not lose you in Hawaii.
It is sad but like you said, he chose it. I'm glad to hear you have a plan :) And a great one it is!! I love Hawaii. It's just so.....tropical..lol And so cool that we will all have a place to stay when you get there..lol
I'm sure that's a bit down the road, selling a house and making arrangements takes months. We'll be rootin for ya all the way.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
((()) Diva you are in a position financially that you don't have to put up with any s..t if you don't want to. You call the shots. Whatever you decide we are here for you I know deep down you are hurting. That false Leo bravado is not fooling me. Luv Leo xxx
Thank goodness you have a plan, and the financial security to carry it off!
You have such a gentle graciousness about you, always so concerned for others and willing to let others learn from your acquired wisdom. What a fool he is to throw away this happiness with such a great lady as yourself!
After researching this for many many years and observing my own husband I am convinced that most long term alcholics suffer from some sort of deep depression that makes them experience such despair in life that they would not know happiness even if it slapped them in the face. Really. It is some sort of mental problem, they cannot comprehend, or experince real happiness. They can seem content for a while but the long term more subtle stuff eludes them.
I am going on and on and on and on once again trying to remind you that this is not your fault. I am sure you know that. You appear to live your life with such a great sense of dignity that I think it is an example to all. I admire you so much for that! The way you take care of yourself, speak up for yourself, and still find time to enjoy life and help others try to acquire the sense of self that you have for yourself.
Many times when faced with decisions I try to think "what would Diva do?" LOL and try to do that. Sort of "act as if" I want to act as though I have your self assurance and hope the real feeling will follow.
Even though I am sure you are in tremendous pain grieving the loss of the this wonderful man and partner in your life, that you still have a plan, and that plan includes things that make you happy.
I wish you every success in selling your house and getting the nicest happiest home in Hawaii! What a great adventure!
I had a friend who sold everything and moved to Hawaii and she has never been happier! She says it is a paradise and the wondrous beauty makes her happier than she has ever dreamed.
We are here for you during this transition, never hesitate to reach out for the loving support you so generously give to others.
Can I stow in your suitcase? Hope you keep coming to MIP, if I had the money ~ well, when I was in Kauai'i I thought I could just be homeless & sleep on the beach, OMG it is so beautiful there, I didn't care if I fell into Waiamea canyon & died!
Way to stick to your guns (boundaries) & I couldn't imagine a more beautiful place to live!
Aloha & Mahalo for all of your kind support. So what island will you go to?
Lots of love to you, your friend in recovery, -KoL
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
