The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today is my Wedding Anniversary - My AH & I have been married for 14 yrs. Wow - I can't believe it - talk about beating the odds - his 3rd marriage, my 2nd; with his active disease and me without Al-Anon - how did we make it? - Only by the Grace of our HP.
So many things go through my mind on our Anniversary - The night before our wedding is the first night I got the call - You know the State Trooper call at Midnight (why is it with A's it's always between midnight and 2:00 am???) to come pick-up my A because he had drove his truck in the ditch about a mile from our house. Yes, he was under the influence - yes, I was in denial. Did I call of the wedding? of course not that would be too embarrassing in front of my friends and family - I thought I had no choice. Just like I thought all those yrs of living with the active addiction and emotional/verbal abuse, I had no choice.
It wasn't all bad, I can admit that now, it really wasn't - there was a few good times - He, like most of our A's, has good qualities, he can be a good father, great friend and a wonderful husband when he is sober. I wasn't the best wife and mother that I could have been either, but I was just doing the best that I could with what I had.
So here we are, 14 yrs later, 5 daughters between us (he had 3, I had 2) ages 28-19, 5 grandchildren, 3 plus yrs of sobriety for him, almost 3 yrs of Al-Anon for me - we lived apart for 15 months during his first yr or so of sobriety - Is our life perfect? - No way - No how - not even close - Does he still get on my last nerve? You bet!! After all, he is still very much an A - and he is still recovering from the affects of this disease. He still has tons of those old behaviors that we deal with. I am still learning to set boundaries, communicate my limits, wants, and needs in an adult manner without using manipulation, guilt or anger. Still working on letting go of old resentments and past hurts. Learning, Growing, and Maturing
But we are here, still here - thanks God - thanks to the programs of AA & Al-Anon, our sponsors, our wonderful friends and support groups (like you great people here at MIP), we are still here - Just for today and that's all that matters - we will take our marriage just like our recovery - One Day at a Time
Thanks for letting me share,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
Congrats to you and hubby on your anniversary, his recovery and your recovery! You give us all hope. Enjoy the day, and be extra good to yourselves. You all deserve it.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Hubby & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Wow 14 years!! That's awesome. I think your experience is a testimony to what miracles HP can work in people's lives. I especially like the theory of taking marriage one day at a time just like recovery. Every day can have a new spin or turn on things and its just too overwhelming to project and predict how life will be. I hope you guys do something special for yourselves tonight.
Hugs,
Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
Great share and sooooo truthful. I love it. Perfect is an illusion! Fairy tale marriages are for those who have strange names, stranger lives and even stranger little people running in and out of their houses. Sometimes when the disease is active its like that don't you think?
You two made it here with program. It might not have started that way and you stayed until the miracle happened! Doesn't get more awesome than that!! I know about the down times too and today that is graced with the awareness that they are temporary and turning it over with humor and humility.
Mahalo Nui, (Thanks very much) for the 12 Step. You both gotta be blessed.
Thanks so much for the well wishes - Since recovery we celebrate our anniversary the "recovery way" - our 12, 13 & 14th anniversaries have been spent at meetings - at AA Speaker meetings, Al-Anon meetings or open AA meetings - We both have decided that is the best way for us to celebrate our anniversary for without these programs there would be no anniversary.
So last night I went to my Al-Anon meeting and then met my AH at his open AA meeting.
I am truly blessed,
Thanks again for the well wishes,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
) to come pick-up my A because he had drove his truck in the ditch about a mile from our house. Yes, he was under the influence - yes, I was in denial. Did I call of the wedding? of course not that would be too embarrassing in front of my friends and family - I thought I had no choice. Just like I thought all those yrs of living with the active addiction and emotional/verbal abuse, I had no choice. 
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
