The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I fought with my husband today over his drinking and problems we are having with our marriage. I finally told him that I didnt feel like I could handle watching him drink his life away and that I no longer felt like we were a couple. Our marriage has been going steadily downhill. First it was communication problems then it was he stopped hugging and kissing me...even refusing when i tried to hug or kiss him, now he is sleeping on the couch and is getting through an 18 pack of beer and sometimes more everynight. I have tried to talk to him and ive tried to be there for him and i dont usually B**** at him. I have told him how i feel and ive asked him to come with me and we would both get help both for his drinking and our marriage. I dont want to end it but I feel like im full of conflicting emotion. Im happy when we talk and get along, Im furious about his drinking, im sad because he admits he has a problem but wont get help and im sad because our relationship is going downhill. I feel like ive lost the man i married. I sometimes get a detached feeling like im looking at my feelings through a kaliedoscope.
When my husband was active, I felt like I was living with a dead person. The disease robbed him of his ability to participate in life, never mind participate in the marriage. Underneath it all, I knew he loved me.
I had to find ways to make myself and children happy since his focus was somewhere else.
