The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i am so scared to feel sad.i can do anger really well. i can do happy. but as soon as i start to think that i might be feeling sad i do anything to not feel it. shop, pick a fight, be a bit**, whatever to not feel sad. and it is difficult right now because my dad died and my marriage ended and i've lost my home that my kids were growing up in and that i loved so much. i don't want to deal with the losses. so i keep putting it off "i'll deal with that tomarrow". then i get scared that if i keep putting off these feelings they are going to get bigger and bigger and overpower me. i use humor alot to keep the feelings at bay. i don't think this is a healthy or mature way to deal but i don't know how to get past the paralizing fear of facing my pain. i do let it out in little bits but mostly that's about my dad's death. the house i haevn't even let myself think about. and all that goes with it--the dreams. my ex-ah didn't call today like he said he would. i didn't really expect him to--i don't expect anything from him anymore. i am not angry but it has trigger alot of lonliness and sadness. even not addressing the feelings they are there. it's like i'm in a bubble and trying hard to ignore it. anyone know what i mean?
Let me tell you, to let go and sob and be sad is finally admitting all the losses.
And you have some major ones. I had to let mine out. I do remember trying to save it until a certain time when I walked up the mountain and let it out.
but I used to scream and cry on my drive home along the river.
Of course you are afraid to be sad. It is opening up the wound and starting to heal. Right now you have it sorta lightly covered. Afraid to look inside. It might be more than you can handle.
Maybe you need to see a counseler or better, do you have a loved one who will allow you to get it out and be there?
Of all people my daughter does it for me. amazes me.
I encourage you to let it out and feel every bit of it. make sure you have a towel for all your tears.
If you don't deal with it, it comes out as anger, frustration, uno?
Do you have someone who can help you? I wish I was where you are so I could come over.
Be neat if we all could somehow magically get to each other. But right now I would have to be in a bubble so no one else got sick. Makes it hard to hug...giggle.
glad you are here, betcha ya let it go soon. also many of us have been known to give out phone numbers.
I can always do that on week ends and nights as my verizon is free then. I don't have to say a thing, but just care and listen. All ya need do is ask. hon.
love,debilyn who listens to sad music to get some healing done.
Am sorry about the loss of your dad and your marriage . Of course u can do this ,u lived with active alcoholism , u can do anything . I hope that u are going to meetings for yourself u may be divorced but the damage is still there . U will find new friends who understand you and help to get u thru this . U don't have to do anything alone again . good luck Stay in today and remember that One day at a time U can do anything . ( hugs) Feel the feelings it takes time to heal from a loss . Allow yourself to grieve somedays reality really stinks but it sure beats living in denial . Not to many suprises when living in reality . good luck Louise
