The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have done my best to explain how the program works for me.
Last night I had a horrible, horrible nightmare about my A husband. Woke up in tears, sore throat, no energy, Just yuck.
A friend called me becuz she was taking me to do my errands. I don't feel well enough to drive.
Just miserable becuz I don't know where A is. I was brushing my teeth, and thought ok how did I get out of this horribleness before?
Well first it was ok Hp knows where he is. You gotta give it up to hp. Then the thought about control. I cannot control the situation. I have to surrender it.
So I took a breath and let it go. It was like a million pounds was off me. I had a thought like, well why would hp help me? But he always has before.
Remember, it may not be how you wish it.
So I then sat down and made a list of what I could do. My friend helped me with errands. Then took me to his probation officer. He had given her our address and the phone number was wrong. I told her the right one. She was very nice. Told me if she saw or heard from him, she would contact me. He has an app the 24th, she told me I could come.
I went to the hospital where his mom is. She says,"what are you doing here?" geez still a B. I said, "you know, you may be mad at me and not know why, but I still care about you."
I told her A was trying to get ahold of me but lost my number. I left it there for him.
So another footstep done. Left my number at the shelter he has not been at, and at the temp work place he has not been to.
Nothing more I can do. His mom is so evil, I don't know if she will let him know I was there. no matter.
all up to hp.
Now I do feel better. I have done all I can do. Needed to do that.
I was looking in the lost and found in the paper and wondered if I could put an add there? Be with the lost dogs and cats and rings and stuff.
Lost: husband lost, ex jailbird, has no money/loser, alcoholic/sick, sigh
hmmm I think I will put an add in. It does not cost that much to put a pic in the paper. I suppose if I could do it when I lost my dog I could do it for him....
dipstick, forgets his own phone number...
so ya see, you can have alanon skills, but ya still gotta get the box of tools out. Not all of them come natural.
yes I feel better, exausted. Have done all I can, so gotta let go. I swear if I get to see him one more time I am going to sit on him and not let him get away for a bit.
hehehe, I know your situation is not funny, but the mental picture of the ad in the paper is too funny.
Good to see you can still keep a sense of humor through all of this, I personally would be going out of my mind. Sorry to hear about the B of a mother he has.
Glad you got your serenety back sending prayers and hugs your way. Jade
Good to see you working your program. No matter how badly we want to 'kiss it better' for them, there is nothing we can do to cure them. His HP will do whatever needs to be done. It's out of our hands. We didn't cause it, we can't control it, and we can't cure it! No more self-torture, K?
Work on the one thing you can control, you! You probably have an ulcer the size of Manhatten from worrying about him. You know it isn't good for your health, work on your serenity, and go muck the piggy house when you're frustrated. Great therpy!
He does know where you live, even if he has lost your phone #. Maybe he needs time alone to work on him. Glad to see you are giving it over to HP. You have done all you can do. Leave it up to his HP. We may not always understand HP's ways, but know it is for the best in the long run. Maybe he has seen it is time for him to grow up and look after himself, then maybe, once he is better, to look after you for a change :)
Concentrate on you, go for a walk in your very own Eden, and thank your HP for all you have. Get your serenity back for good. What will be, will be. There's nothing we can do about it.
