hello everyone, havnt been on here in a while but id thought i would update you all. two weeks ago if you recall my a relapsed and that was it for me. and this time it really is. he has begged me back numerous times promising me the world and in the past i always believed. but watch the feet right? i dont see any movement towards a better relationship with me. so i completly let him go. im feeling great. i do have my moments when im lonely and miss him so i let it all out and cry. it really is healing ive changed my eating to completly healthy and am on  a fitness plan now. i feel and can see the changes. my a has gotten worse then he was but thats not my problem. this is my life and im grabbing it back. he has no more control over me. i feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders. i dont have to worry if he'll come home or not, if he'll relapse, if i'll have money for rent or food. i dont have to worry if he's sleeping around. im keeping the focus on me and whats keeping me happy. living with an a brought me down so much. i lost myself completly but now im slowly finding myself again. it feels really good to be able to only worry about one person.......myself.