The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, I don't know what this is all about. My AHSober and I have been at each other's throats for a year. In the last 3 weeks, we seemed to have hit the eye in the storm. We usually end of fighting about our relationship (mostly on my part) because he wants a divorce. About 3 weeks ago he asked me if we could talk about our son in the military and nothing else. He called back several days later and we talked. What I think was significant was that he actually asked me for something. He is so anti dependent. Well we spent another weekend together and didn't argue until the end.
This Friday I had my weekend planned because it is hard being alone but I was determined to have a good weekend. So as I was going out the door my AHsober calls and said that he would consider golfing with me. We had a pleasant time and then he ended up coming here for the weekend. He has definitely severed the physical/sexual part of our relationship. But he seems willing to spend time with me. Although, sometimes I feel like he comes around to fattened me up for the kill (divorce).
I ask my HP for the right words to say and the right actions. The truth is that I miss my husband and I don't want a divorce. Someones posted here said to not believe what they say but pay attention to their actions. So we see each other about every 2 weeks. He said that he would come stay here and watch the pets while I attend a conference. I think maybe I should be making a break from all of this "helping".
Well, I decided that I need to be way stronger emotionally to handle what the future has in store for me. I need a plan A, B, C. I truly don't know if this is the eye of the storm and the worst is yet to come or maybe there is a chance at some compatibility. I contacted an online therapist. I need to address my codependency issues and love addiction. I just can't seem to move on.
Focus on you and try to leave the possible reuniting of you and hubby to your HP.
My "A" and I seperated and he kept insisting for months that he and I were never going to have anymore of a relationship than as parents to our children and we could have a friendship.
I had a hard time accepting it. And really didn't want to move on. Someone once shared in a meeting that desperation wasn't attractive. And I really thought about that.
When I started to focus on me, I forgot to mourn for him. And the healthy me became attractive to him. And we did rekindle the relationship.
Keep working on you hun, remember we are here for you.
Yours in recovery,
Dolphin123
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
