The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am at work right now and I am wishing I was at home.
I took my car to the shop on Friday. Thinking I was going to be spending about $1800 to get the car fixed. Well the guy called me Friday morning and said good news you don't need a new transmission, bad news the part I need won't be in until Monday. Well since I thought I needed a new transmission, I had planned on them having the car for a while and I had not been able to drive it since the end of May anyway, so really what was one more weekend? No big deal.
Well I got the car on Tuesday and didn't have to spend anywhere close to the ammount of money planned so I spent some money on the kids and things we needed for the house. No big deal not going crazy with money spending, but finally had soem extra ya know?
Well the transmission started slipping, and I just took it to the shop. I know it isn't a big deal and I know everything will be ok because I have an awesome HP. But I am worried once again about money. This is why I never spend money on me or the house. Something always comes up.
I just dropped my car back at the shop. And I told the guy, it was even the one that called me and told me that the tranny was fine, that becasue they told me that I spent some money getting things the house needed. He told me that they would do the best they can.
I know I could not have seen this coming, and I know this isn't my fault, but I am so mad. One of the few times in the past 9 years I do anything for me, it is coming back to bite me.
I am saying the serenity prayer and I know HP will take care of me, but I just want to find a place to cry. Ya know relieve some of the stress that i am feeling? I good cry usually helps me feel better, but right now I can't have to wait for a good time. So here I amventing my little heart out because I know this will help.
I am frustrated and I know that is okay. I know all will be well, even if right now the light is to far away to see, but you all with your love and esh will help me see it.
Yours in recovery,
Mandy (Dolphin123)
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
I can really relate to that. My son's truck did the same thing. I buy a used boat for the family to play with and his tranny dies. He's pennyless and needs to borrow the money to fix it. I certainly wasn't counting on that.
Those guys might take payments. Some do, but regaurdless, you can't live your life waiting for what's going to break next. You would miss out on way too much.
IMHO you are very conciencious, but if the pro's tell you it's not broken, why stash away money to fix it. Don't feel bad about getting some stuff for you and the kids. You are worth it and so are the kids, it's just bad timing.
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
How about waiting until the guy calls to have some fear and dread? There's no sense in getting all flustered before you know what's going on with the car, right?
Give HP a chance to work the magic...
Love
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I hate vehicle problems!!! - So sorry you are having trouble with yours - sending prayers and good thoughts your way. Like you said - No matter what you and your HP will be ok - better than OK.
Hope you have a peaceful evening to process those feelings,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
It is my experience that when I take care of me, and that includes doing something nice for me, things fall into place.
Worst case senario, and look at it honestly: what if you do over draft? Or do the credit card thing? Will someone die? Are you gonna die? An old timer told me that if you can't solve a problem with money, than it is a problem. So, from where I sit (and you know how me and money go) it's not that it's not worth getting upset over, of course it's upsetting. But more to the point, it's that it's something that you can only do what you can only do. There's a point where it's okay to say, "I'm done. This is my done point where God's gonna do the rest 'cause I can't do no more." If this is it for you kid, okay.
Just don't quit on yourself. You sound as if you're looking for an excuse to lose your mind. I had that nervous breakdown I was owed; it was over rated and I spent a week in a psych unit.
Mandy, I would do –well, what you’re already doing, working that Serenity Prayer.
If you intend to think of any “what if’s” before you know exactly what it is, why not make it a positive what if? What if it it’s a trans line that is leaking and you need some fluid ?!
Dolphin123 wrote:
Well I got the car on Tuesday and didn't have to spend anywhere close to the ammount of money planned so I spent some money on the kids and things we needed for the house. No big deal not going crazy with money spending, but finally had soem extra ya know? _______ This is why I never spend money on me or the house. Something always comes up. I just dropped my car back at the shop. And I told the guy, it was even the one that called me and told me that the tranny was fine, that becasue they told me that I spent some money getting things the house needed.
I don’t even see where you did spend any on you.
I was just saying last week how I felt bad buying for me. I have been notorious for returning things I bought for me because clearly I can spend it on everyone and everything before me. So I shared with a few people this and they helped me cut the tags and almost throw away the receipt.
I have come to believe I am not the only alanon to feel this way either because others seemed to relate… Meantime, please know you are worth that deserved lil spree so those items can be fully enjoyed
Two things come to mind. Our HP's are teaching lessons with transmissions this month! Ours went out so my bright AH took it to a "guaranteed" place 6 hours away. Of course, it still slips. So AH (sober guy mind you) says he is going to drive it until it dies so we can use the guarantee. Needless to say I am driving the other car.
Also, transmissions and doing something nice for yourself are not connected. It just seems that way to us Alanoners. Cry if you need too. Guaranteed you will not be alone.
I can so understand your frustration. I hope you found a way to vent that out a little. You deserve to do nice things for yourself, money is a tough issue even in so called "normal" households. Don't feel bad about having done some nice things for you and the kids.
