DAISY - Al-Anon Family Group

ollie · Veteran Member

DAISY

nycbt · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP. You are not alone. There a lot of people who understand.

World Service Organization Website –

WWW.al-anon.alateen.org

Alanon meetings 1-888-425-2666

Chat room is open 24/7 there here the link to www.mipchat.net or http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

Here are some things that have helped me since in the program.

Go face to face meeting & online meeting.
post on the board here on the site. I have gotten a lot of good feed back.

· In this program u learn that u have choices. In Alanon we don’t give advice but only suggestions.

· Set support system. people do not judge. You need someone who can go for coffee on a bad day, or pick up a phone and call when in trouble. The support is what is important when you first this program.

Have a sponsor. Someone work one on one with you.

You don’t have to do this the minute u come to the program but I suggest that u do it when u can. It help.

Meeting schedule: meetings are in here and run approximately 90 minutes from: Monday-Friday, 9 am and 9 pm EST, Saturday: 10 am and 9 pm EST, Sunday: 10 am and 7 pm EST. Topics are selected by participants at meeting time. UK +5 hours, central -1 hour, mountain -2 hours, pacific -3 hours. Open chat all other times.

daisy2 · Veteran Member

Hi Ollie,

thanks for your message. I'm kinda confused. I had nothing to do with his drinking, why should i do all the work? Now i can actually live my life as i want, i dont see the point sitting my bum in meeting i dont like. I see the point if someone lived with a for 20 years, but not me. I know him for about 2.5 years and living with him about a year. It was hell, but i dont feel he done any mager damage on me. I would say i carry more damage from my childhood than from him. Yes we have issues, but who doesnt?

just my thoughts

Daisy

ollie · Veteran Member

Hi daisy,So glad you answered my message,

I do understand your points about meetings and not being with a A for a long time.it took me 3yrs to say enough is enough,we have never been involved with As before on both side of the family so when my hubby decided to drink it actually took me a while to reolize what the hell was goin on,this in its self has caused total distruction,at this time we had been happily married for 33yrs,i sit here i have to say ,what the hell happened..

It is true alot of us have demons from our childhood,this we cannot change,but to learn by them and become a stronger better person .

If you feel up to sending me a e mail i would love to talk to you about anything buddy to buddy,starting with the weather if thats what we feel like talking about

You can reach me at ag001f9228@blueyonder.co.uk.

big hug ollie xxxxx

daisy2 · Veteran Member

Hi Ollie,

thank you for understanding. I really dont want to sit in room and open up to strangers face to face. I have this great neighbour, she was with me nearly every single night when i had my hubby in treatment centre. She is much older that i am, but she really helped me trought my lonely times (6 weeks). I do trust her comletaly, she is like my sponsor/friend/meetings in one. She had father A and knows alot about it. She never attend any meeting herself, but she is wise woman + great fun too. If feel that i do get enough support when i need it. Sometimes i just need vent somewhere, thats why i came here. I love my bf and he loves me. He is working very hard on himself and his recovery. He gets all the support he needs and i leave everything up to him. I'm not nagging bitch anymore, i let him do what he wants to do. Our meeting together is once a week in aftercare in treatment centre where he was. This will be on for a year, maybe 2. I think do enough just letting him do his work and not telling him what to do anymore. I learn that in lectures we had when he was in. I will go to some more becuse i enjoy learning, but dont ask me to sit in rooms for an hours and get nothing from it. I'm too hyper to just sit and listen, i need to be involved in conversation or at least discussing the problems. I know i should learn how to listen and i can, but not for long and not couple of times a week. God i must sound awful, but i'm just wrinting think as they come to my head + i'm saggitarius

Daisy

x

ollie · Veteran Member

Hi Daisy,lovely to hear from you again.

your letter really touched my heart,you sound a wonderful person,you and your boyfriend sound so much in love,i truly hope it works out for you two,its great you have such a good friend to confide in ,i think this is so important,i too have a friend who i have known nearly all my life ,she has been my saviour i dont know how many times.

i admire you young lady,you know what you want to learn and what you dont want to be bothered with,you stick with it,and dont give up till you know all you need to.

I send my love to you both ,and wish you so well.

oh ya i too am saggitarius,we are wonderful people.

lots of love ollie xxxx

daisy2 · Veteran Member

Thaks Ollie,

you know as saggitarius, we get what we want almost every time, always the head in clouds, but not for too long to see what is happening under our feet

That gives me hope as well, i read sign stars alot, my bf is cancer, water versus fire, great combination. Someone would think that is the worse, but i have my understanding that we actually work well together as oposite sites. We will see if i'm still optimistic in 20 years time

And what is your story? I haven't read much about you. You might be too tired to explain all over again, but it would be nice to get to know little bit better.

Love

Daisy

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.