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I am the child of an alcoholic father. I am 53 years old and second to the oldest of 5 children. All of my siblings have food addictions...3 (the 3 youngest) have had problems with alcohol and/or drugs. The one and only brother still smokes pot daily. Hasn't drank or used cocaine in many years. Still active in the food addiction as are all of us. My youngest sister who is 44 still has a problem with alcohol. When she was young she endured most of the pain from the A family life. The reason for that if by the time A dad got really, really bad most of us were older and could get away from it more.
I guess what my question is...is this:
Why do you think that me and my older sister never used alcohol or drugs but used food and the 3 younger siblings did get the alcohol and drug problem? They also have the food addiction. I realize that when some people get into recovery from alcohol and drugs they start turning to food. I've come across many when I went to Overeaters Anonymous many years ago. I have heard many of them say that this was the hardest addiction to get into recovery for. Once you put down the alcohol and drugs you don't have to pick them up again in recovery. You have to deal with eating daily and it is not really accepted as an addiction like the others are.
Anyway, I feel like I am rambling but just wondering if anyone can offer any esh on the subject.
I guess we are all affected differently but yet the same?? if that makes any sense - There were three of us - I have an older brother, then me, then a younger brother - My older brother struggles with food addiction, my younger brother struggled with alcohol (he celebrated his 10 yr birthday in AA in January 2006), my addiction was unheathy relationships.
If you would look at all three of us, we look nothing alike on the outside - there is basically no familiar features in our physical bodies, but some of our mannerism are alike - Just like our addictions - all three are totally different, but yet they are still addictions to unhealthy issues resulting from growing up with an untreated alcoholic father and untreated al-anon mother.
My older brother & I are the geeks of the family, never been drunk, never tried any of the drugs of the 70's - not even "pot" - my younger brother is another story - My AH is another story - no matter what we are still very, very sick people who need a new God of our own understanding to heal us from the affect of this disease of alcoholism/addiction.
Just what I have learned from Al-Anon, open AA meetings, and MIP,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
It has been suggested from the medical community that people with alcholism and drug addiction in their background have the tendency toward alcholism and drug addiction. Of course, ultimately, it goes back to the nature vs nurture controversey--are we products of our environment or of our genes? and for the most part, the scientific community find themselves believing that we are a product hybrid--that we are a personality of genes and home life.
Of course, how many times have you heard "Her father was an alcholic" and simply been like "Oh" because that explained "everything" some how? Or how many times have you heard "He's a naturally shy person" and been like "Oh" because, again, "that just explains everything"? So there's no real difinitive answer. Whenever I try to analyze these things, what I'm really trying to do is put people in little boxes so they fit in black and white situations of my comfort zone.
This is an interesting subject.I have wondered about it myself.My father was an A and all my siblings ( 3 brothers and 3 sisters) are A's.I am not an alcoholic and my mother is not.The women in my family,except my mother,have food issues along with the alcoholism.The men just have the a'ism,they have no food issues.They ALL smoke cigarettes.( my mother has no addictions except the cigarettes)
I don't smoke,don't drink,but have food addictions.(mostly carbs)
So what is the answer? According to Debilyn's exerpt addiction is addiction in the way it causes changes in the brain.People predisposed to addiction just choose different substances.Apparently I have the genetic predisposition for addiction, but my substance of choice was food.
I wonder if I chose food because as a child I was very fearful.In fact fear has controlled me most of my life.So I would not even take diet pills because they made me feel out of control.Alcohol and drugs would have done the same thing.I liked to be aware of what I was doing so I could always be on the lookout to prevent some catastrophy from happening.Food was safe.It anesthetized the painful feelings but I was still me,awake and aware of what was going on.
Carbohydrates seem to be the actual drug of choice for food addicts don't you agree?I just don't get the same calming affect from a meat or vegetables or fruit.
I do seem to be doing better since I have been coming to Alanon though.As it said, again in Debilyn's post,the substance is used to escape from depression or other "unpleasant psychological state". I am starting to think that when we deal with our demons,by working the steps and living the program,we will no longer need to escape.So maybe that is the answer.Lots of people who have come to alanon have lost weight.They change their lives and start taking care of themselves.
absolutely carbs are the drug of choice for a food addict. It is definately for me. I use to smoke but was able to give it up about 2 years ago. that is why I know that it is not just willpower that I am lacking. food and controlling the A are my biggest addictions. With Alanon I have come a very long way with the latter. I think it will be back to OA for me in the near future.