The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Pre - Alanon I would react almost immediately to most situations, without thinking. I would leave myself afterwards literally beating myself up, and rehashing a situation over and over again. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, HUH, and alanon has taught me to "think" before I jump into any situation to prevent me from feeling this way afterwards. If the A was drinking and being beligerant, I would engage and fight back, word for word. Learning now that it was totally futile to talk to anyone drunk and expect them to hear what I was saying! This is a great learning tool to "think before responding" so I dont leave myself in a position to feel sorry for what I have said in the heat of the moment and acting on impulse. This too makes me look at the times I would even seek out the A in his drinking establishments to show him how angry I was at him for being there. Insane? Definately, only to leave defeated once again. I can use this as a learning tool and not only use this while dealing with active alcoholism but with every day situations in life , may it be work related or relationship related. Reasoning things out within myself, looking at all aspects , before I jump straight into it, has saved me alot of grief, and self battering, and concequences of my reactions.
Thank you for the great reminder to stop and think, before I react. I believe that is one of the best tools I have learned in alanon, lol I just need to remember to pick it up and use it.
Yours In Recovery,
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
Thanks so much for sharing your experience on this.I too have reacted instantly to the A's in my life and then had trouble forgiving myself later for making a complete fool of myself.Nothing was accomplished and I just beat my self up later,as you said, defeated again.
We are reacting to the disease and that is a hopeless cause.
I must admit this is what I used to do all the time. Since joing Al-anon, not too long ago, I have become aware of many things and this is one of the biggest things I want to start doing. I used to always react without thinking and fight word for word and argue things to the bitter end with my wife. ALL because I grew up with an A mother and brother. It makes me feel a little more comfortable here knowing that other have the same problems I do.
