The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm still dealing with my family vacation loaded with lots of alcohol. I tried getting to a meeting yesterday (the only one I could make) and it was cancelled. I was so looking forward to it. This weekend is the BIG party. I know I need to detach.
I also just found out my husband just got his 4th DUI. I struggle with my emotions cause I feel like anything I say would not be pleasant. I did call and make sure my dog, which he is taking care of while I am gone, is ok. That was all I could talk to him about or wanted to say. I can't immagine what the kids will have to go through with thier friends. I don't know if it is best to tell them now, or even when we get home. I know it will come out but is it best from me or their friends.
There is such a part of me that that wishes he would just disappear off the face of the earth, it would cause us all so much less pain. I know this isn't very kind of me but it is where I am at right now. I know that detachment will help... I thought I was doing a real good job till this DUI came up, but now I am so angry, once more. Does this ever end???
I wish I could make some meetings or online chat but it isn't feasible at this time. I am counting the days till I can try to get my life back to its regular insanity. I know there will be new problems though between his DUI and the flooding that has taken out many neighbors and has caused some problems at my house (of course my husband has done nothing to help with the house flooding while I am gone).
Well that is where I am at this time. Just trying to take things ODAT.
Sending thoughts of peace, calmness and serenity your way -
I so remember those thoughts of wishing my AH would disappear, then it got so bad, I wished I could just drive off the bridge on my way to work everyday.
Take those deep breaths - relax and try to stay calm,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
Hello Sandie , wishing he would dissapear and we don't care how is normal for our situations - Iwished it many times myself . I always felt guilty feeling that way until someone in my group expressed what i was feeling and i thought thank god I am not the only one who felt that way.
Another gift of the prog there is always someone who has been where were at. this too shall pass kept me going for along time. Keep the focus on your needs and U will be okay there is still nothing u can do about him. Lower your expectations for those around you and it won't be so stressful for you in fact I found it easier to have none . Accepting it was alot harder. But the reality was he was n ot nor could he be there for me "YU can't get a loaf of bread from a hardware store " reminded me that he could not be who I needed him to be. period
(((((((((Sandie))))))))) Take the one minute or one hour at a time now. Read your alanon literature and keep posting. Know that I am sending you prayers and postive energy your way. I can't imagine how tough things must be for you now but know you are not alone and others are thinking of you and here for you. cdb xoxoxo
Sandie, I just responded to your earlier post, so you can scrolll down on the main page if you want to read it.
I so empathize with you, especially on being where you are .
One hour at a time right now should help. Stay in the minute, even. Find something to smile about, even a walk , looking at other people , anything to remove you from the anxieties you mention. I bet a lot of those worries will go away of their own accord, or with hp's assistance.
Stay well, sandie, and it 's a good thing you can come here too.
I think you have a way out of the family problems and Hp has sent it in a rather extraordinary way. I would be telling my family that it was lovely to invite me for the reunion but due to the flooding that is now affecting your property you must cut your vacation short. As for your A 4th dui IT IS HIS PROBLEM. I feel your pain with the embarrassment for the kids and living in a small community. Be upfront with the kids. (((()))). Leo xx
