The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I did not contact my A this weekend as contracted. I hit some bumps and waves but I rode them and made it through. Now I'm going to go through this week in the same style. I am out and staying out.
Thanks all for this board. There is no way I could have done this a month ago but between your stories, the framework of Al-Anon and the book, "Getting Them Sober", a window opened and I'm scramblin' through it.
Good for you!!! and hang in there. I know for me, sometimes my resolve can be so strong & I feel on a mountain top, then I get knocked down & wonder where my strength went.
This site is invaluable... I've been distraught only to go into chat & after a few mionutes of venting, a few understanding words, find myself LOL in minutes. Nothing like having friends world-wide that can relate to exactly what you're going through at any given time.
Writing it out on the Board has helped me so much, as well. At first I spent many hours just reading the posts & responses.
YANA & we do have meetings twice a day in chat. Hope you can keep your focus & have an excellent week. Don't forget to do some nice, thoughtful things for yourself. At least when I focus on myself, my energy isn't going to the A's. God knows, I've neglected myself enough mentally & spiritually far too long. God Bless You.
Love, a sis in recovery, -Kitty of Light
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Good for you! Keep coming back and stay stong and then when you don't feel so strong come back here. There are always people here to talk to. I wish you the best!
Good for you Dog, for taking care of yourself. For me, that was the first thing I needed to do. To realize I am worthy. I am not something to belittle, I have feelings. Didn't realize I was belittleing myself. LOL.
Have you read the other "Getting Them Sober" books...there are 4 different volumes. Those books opened my mind to a whole new way of living, although for today, I am still living with and in love with my AH. But, I am getting better, and that makes everything better.
So glad you are here, it helps me so much to come and type or go to chat and talk.
Keep your strength about you. You took that first step away, and that is a wonderful beginning for you.
Cripes! I don't feel comfortable writing under this name. I think he is going to find me. I tired to re-join but no confirmation mail came. Have emailed several times and resent it the mail, but my account is not activated. I am not going to post until it is. I just know he's going to come across this board. If anyone knows how to activate the new account...please help. thanks, Dog byeeeee
My A thinks I was put on the earth to take care of him. I am just here to wait on him and am not supposed to have my own life. I am tired of it now that I have worked through my abandonment issues. If I say something, he goes instantly to victim then to mean ness. That is about the extent of the relationship, demand, manipulate and blame. Some fun huh. So I don't blame you for wanting distance from the A. I put lots between mine somedays. I wish I could have even more.
The times i felt i had to call i called someone in the program or i came here and posted.i cant tell you how many letters i wrote to him here but it kept me from calling and getting well.
And I mean "awesome" that you are doing what is right for you, and not that you are choosing to leave... It feels good, doesn't it - putting YOUR needs ahead of your A's for a change?? I love the fact that in our program, they tell us about "self-care" as opposed to being "selfish". Good for you, and it looks/sounds GREAT on ya!!
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
"A window opened and I'm scramblin through it" I love that! That is how I feel when a window opens because I know I have to do something and I just do and and rewards come and I get a great feeling and yet I feel like I'm in new territory. With doing it over and over it gets better, and easier!
