Lastnight I made a real nice dinner for AH as we are to be away for the BIG Day!  I phoned him to let him know i was prepairing something for him... mistake i don't know or care for that matter.  Any way of course he did not come home and yes i admit i was angery for the fact that i did make the effort as I would have liked him to make for me... but he never does.  Before the program I would have taken the kids and gone away by myself just so I didn't feel obligated to do something for him even though he is thoughtless and never, never does special things for me and the kids... You all know the priorities that the A has...

I got over the anger and had other things to do like pumpping the water out of the back yard before the basement flooded and he swore he would do but didn't...

Fathers Day is over rated and I prefer to call it sperm donner day.  I can celebrate it enjoying my children and being blessed with them rather than waisting my time and efforts on my AH.  I sound bitter but really I am just disapointed in myself for waisting my day when I had more important things to do. At least the kids and I enjoyed our dinner.

Anyhow when he did finally did come home he said I was gonna do that(the water thing) and smart ass me told him that if I held my breath waiting for him I would be long dead and nothing would get done.. For those who know me on this board things really are going well... the kids and I are great and focused on ourselves for the most part and I am keeping bussy landscaping my 3 acre yard which keeps my days full and my daughter is enjoying helpping me with the gardening.  This is something new for me and alot of hard work.  The rain here has put a damper on my progress as where my pond is has flooded and threatens the basement ( thank goodness for pumps) hopefully my special flower bed for my daughter will be saved. 

As for my program... well the last time I posted I was volunteering for AIS doing the newsletter which was creating many resentments so I have resigned and I am taking a break from all of it.  I just over extended myself in trying to help my program along with service work which did not happen I took one step forward and about 10 back but amazengly enough verry little progress lost with my attitude towards hubby. As time has gone on the fighting has stopped and I don't hate him like I did.  I see my kids happier and me happier.  Taking time for myself is the best thing I have done for me.

I want to say a special hi to my friend CDB i see you are back on the board I am glad!! You are in my prayers

JJ