i had to price most of my father's things for a garage sale a friend and i are having. it was hard to go thru his stuff and feel the memories. then i had a friend from the program help me move some things from my old house which i haven't been to in 6 weeks--just avoiding. the place is a wreck and it hurts so much to be there with those memories. but i felt it and am trying not to dwell on it. so in all i was feeling pretty grateful. i have so much help and love and support. so i stop to drop a few things to the salvation army. i ran the stop signs in the parking lot. to be honest i have been doing this lately and not thinking too much of it. it's a parkinglot with clear views. as i stop to drop the stuff this woman pulls up and hops out of her car and comes over to mine and says "can i ask you something?" i assumed she was going to ask me something to do with the donation site and i smile pleasently. she proceeds to ream me out for running the stop signs. she was really freaking out and yelling. i was so surprised i just sat there and stared at her till she left. i didn't say a word. i was so ashamed. it totally threw me. she was completly right.and what she said was totally true. but holy the way she said it! obviously this was a really sensitive issue to her. and it hit home that what i was doing was dangerous and inconsiderate. i felt like dirt and so wanted to make the whole episode into the end of the world. it made me feel so awful that i couldn't take it.i almost fell down that well of poor me. but there was a different voice in my head that was telling me not to dwell on it and learn and let go. it's a simple one. something i can change immediatly. the shame started to ease and was pretty much gone as i admitted to myself that yes i was wrong and i can do it better. the old me is still in there wanting to be hurt, justify, blame. but the new me has won this round. kinda caught a glimse of how the alcoholic must feel when i ream him out and it is not at all a good feeling. thank god for this program or i'd be running stop signs in parking lots the rest of my life figuratively speaking!!!