The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In my meeting last evening, we looked at this page noted above. It has a lovely writing about expectations. And it reminded me of another Bettyism on this topic. She taught me: Expectations are a resentment waiting to happen. When we were working together my spouse was an active alcoholic, and I had so many unrealistic expectations. And because they were never met by my spouse, I was upset, fuming, and angry much of the time. Betty helped me let go of any expectations, except those centered about myself. This helped me reached a much calmer state of mind, and I continue to remind myself what she taught me. She was an amazing human. I was so fortunate to cross paths with her. RIP
Thank you for that, that's some really valuable insight.
I love the phrase "Expectations are a resentment waiting to happen" , so true.
I had no expectations after a while with the Q in my life, my now ex-partner, however these expectations were being taken over by resentment, boy did I have resentment - and there's still a lot, it's a work in progress as we say.
Having expectations about ourselves, that's a good one. I think during the relationship with my now-ex I lost who I was, I had so little expectations for myself because I was surviving and had no hope, instead resentment was building.
Now, like you, I have expectations only for myself.
RIP Betty, I'm sorry I was away from this board during that time, she offered many sensible words to me!
