((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))))))),

I just got back from the ICU and seeing hubby.  His pancreas has been damaged.  The past 2 weeks that he has been staying with his friend from rehab (the one he saved a couple of months ago from a heroine overdose) he hasn't been able to keep anything down.  "Bob" tried to convince him to go to the hospital earlier, but he's like me.  Too stubborn.  Well this morning, hubby finally said let's go at 5am.

I got home to find a message from "Bob".  I called and he told me what was going on.  Hubby told them not to call me, and only give the information to Bob.  Bob told the nurses at ICU he was bringing me back with him.  He could not not call me. He didn't care if hubby was going to be upset with him.  Besides he said that he couldn't do this alone. 

God, he looks so thin.  I thought we never would be back in this place.  I did manage to get a tear and a slight smile from him when he opened his eyes.  I told him the plants were still alive, and that Pipers Kitty has been hunting up a storm.  That made him tear up again.

Bob did tell me that the past 2 weeks he has not drank because he's been so sick.  I did tell the nurse (whom I sold sneakers and socks to a week earlier) to call me.  But legally because he said that the only person he wanted any information to go to is "Bob" I can't ask any questions.  That may change when he's more lucid.  He's in pretty rough shape.  But maybe this is what his HP had planned.  To make him sick enough to realize that he can't drink anymore.  "Bob" seems to think that this is finally enough for him.  Apparently without telling him the entire story, he said that he thought it was over for us, when I told him to leave. He was devastated.

I'm going back in the morning with "Bob".  I'll be there as often as I can.  But I will also go to work.  I have too for so many reasons.  Just the sense of normalcy will be good for me.  If I'm absent from here, it's only because I'm either at the hospital, work or hopefully napping.  It's my intention to try and stay connected.

Please, please, please pray for him to get well, and for me to stay strong.    He is such a kind, descent, wonderful man.  I love him with all my being.  He is the love of my life.   I had the feeling something was really wrong on Saturday night.  I just started bawling and shaking.  But I figured everything was just catching up to me.  So I did not call him.  But when it comes to my instincts to know when he's in trouble, I'm seldom wrong.  HP talking to me?

I am so grateful that "Bob" was there to save his life.  What goes around comes around.  I thank HP for taking care of him and me.  Right now I'm taking it ODAT. Just like he is.  I'm trying not to project.  But maybe, just maybe this is the path we are suppose to be on.  Maybe, just maybe this is his path that will lead to long term sobriety. I pray for that more than anything, that his HP will lead him down this path.

I am greatful to have you all here with me.  I thank you for your prayers in advance, and hubby will be greatful for them too.

Love and blessings to my family here.  Couldn't do this without you.

Live strong,

Karilynn